is he…or isn’t he??

i watched the movie He’s Just Not That Into You on dvd the other night. 

yes, i know i have been a year late.  the movie came out last year, and people have already talked, ranted and raved about it.  am sure a lot of girls have dissected and analyzed it… and i am sure that guys won’t — or didn’t — simply because they are guys and they don’t do that.  as the movie stressed in so many ways, men don’t do a LOT of things that women do… they don’t think the same way women think. 

as much as i love to read, i didn’t bother getting the book version because well, i am not in the dating scene anymore, thus, i didn’t need the tips.  i just watched the movie for fun…  okay, maybe, out of boredom as well. 

i pretty much enjoyed it. i laughed at some scenes.  i remembered my old self in some of the characters.  somehow i felt bad for Drew Barrymore’s character (the one who’s cyberdating).  i felt sorry for her, really.  she seemed desperate.    come to think of it, most of the women seemed desperate to find the right guy.

i can’t help but look back at my own dating experiences, and i shamefully admit that at some point in my single life, i got desperate, too.  desperate enough to stay in a relationship with someone who was emotionally abusive… desperate enough to try to make a long distance relationship last… desperate enough to wait everytime a guy i liked says “I’ll call you…”  (and haha, most of the time, it took forever for them to call again, if at all!)

but then again, i can’t put all the blame on the whole male species because in some instances, i was the heartless one, too.  there were guys i would never go out with, but i was too nice to say no, thus they felt i was leading them on.  sometimes i’d be my normal, sweet self, and guys i don’t like will think i am, uhm, leading them on… and then there were guys that i never did bother to talk to. plain and simple.  more than once i’ve told someone, “I’ll talk to you later…”  but ‘later’ never came.

perhaps it all boils down to how you perceive things.  being single is not exactly tragic.  being single can be fun.  although yes, sometimes it can get lonely, too… (for some reason i can hear the song “All By Myself” playing in my head). 

on the other hand, being part of a couple is not always easy.  relationships take a lot of effort, work and compromise.  there are some people  in a relationship who are practically dying to get out… or dying inside, which is worse. 

sometimes, it’s all about the drama, too.  someone people thrive in dramatic relationships.  yeah, the drama may add excitement to one’s life, but at some point, it can get exhausting, too.  i guess experience will teach one that having a solid, stable relationship with a person who truly loves you is much, much better than a roller-coaster ride with someone who is just there for the thrill.  if he can’t commit, then run (before he runs away first).

of all the lines in the movie, there was one line that really stuck to me… it was when Neil was proposing to Beth (Ben Affleck-Jen Aniston):   “…I wanna make you happy. I need to make you happy… …for me to even have a shot at being happy.”  That was selfless.  And it’s not even part of the rules!

That kind of guy is for keeps… (if he does exist!)

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