Sentimental reasons

I have had this small, orange face mirror I think since I was in high school.  It’s one of those estee lauder freebies that comes in a bag or pouch with other toiletries or sample make up.  I really love it since it’s flat and handy… can fit in whatever bag i bring.  Back in high school, i used to put it inside the pocket of my blouse (on my chest… for easy access).

My mirror and I have gone a long way.  My best friends from high school call it my prized possession.    It has seen my transformation from ugly duckling to swan.  I have shared with it all the possible facial expressions i can have.  It has seen every smile, every frown, every blemish, wrinkle, sparkle in the eyes… etc etc etc.  One can only wonder how a small inanimate object can be so much a part of one’s life…

At times, it is much, much easier to hold on to objects than people.  I can’t help but think of the friendships that I didn’t try to save — maybe because of the distance… or the time and effort needed… or simply because I didn’t care enough to salvage the relationship. 

I had an interesting chat with an old friend the other day.  We haven’t spoken to each other for quite some time. Ours is — or was — an on again-off again friendship that goes way back.  We have known each other for years, in a sense grew up knowing each other.  We had shared secrets and jokes.  We took time for each other.  But then something happened along the way, that for some time i chose to just ignore the person fully, and this old friend decided to do the same to me.  Until the other day.

Recently, something happened in OF’s (old friend) life that made OF think of me.  While OF was going through the whole thing, the only person OF can think of sharing everything — the story, the emotions, the thoughts– with was me.  But i wasn’t there.  I wasn’t around because we have been ignoring each other for the longest time.  We were both busy doing our “i don’t need you if you don’t need me” routine.

Maybe that was the time OF realized that our friendship had value… and swallowed all pride to admit so.

I was pretty stunned at first.  My first impulse was to be smug about it.  For a split second I wanted to berate OF for being stuck up and detached.  But then i realized that OF was reaching out… trying to salvage the friendship.  So, what’s the point in saying “I’m the better friend” or “It was all your fault.”  OF was extending a hand and the best I can do was take it.  No apologies, no pointing of fingers… just the peaceful feeling that comes with the knowledge that all is well. 

We chatted for several minutes more… shared a joke that we used to tell each other some 20 years back — and we laughed at it as hard as we used to.  I believe it was a nice afternoon for both of us.  I spent the rest of the day with a smile in my heart.

If i could hold on to a mirror for years and years, how can I not hold on to people, as well? 

Yes, we win some, we lose some.  But I have realized that if something is truly of value, it will find its way back to you in time…