Age is JUST a number

I say I'm 27. Seriously.

I say I’m 27. Seriously.

When I was young(er), I used to think that people who were in their 30’s or 40’s were already old.

I grew up in the generation where the young ones realize and acknowledge the authority of elders, may they be parents, aunts or uncles, or parents’ friends.  As a teenager, I was close to my aunts, we tell stories and we laugh a lot, but never did I see them as my equal.  They were always “up there.”  They were older and I gave them all the respect that they deserved.  Though honestly, there were times when I didn’t want to hang out with them because it felt “uncool” hanging out with older people…

I was never really close to my mom when I was growing up because she was more of a figure of authority than anything else.  I followed and obeyed.  I never saw her as a “friend.”  Provider, yes.  Parent, yes.  But, buddy? Chum? Friend?!  As Tyra Banks would have said it, “Hell to the no!”

Besides, the age gap made it difficult for me to see her differently.  My parents — and their siblings — will always be older.  When I was a teenager, I had this thinking that they were already ancient.  Gosh.

I am in my late thirties now.  To be more precise, I am pushing forty.  Just saying that is making my heart palpitate.  In my young self’s eyes, I AM ANCIENT!  Panic time.  Gulp.  I. can’t. breathe. too. well. 

Thinking about it, I don’t feel too different.  I mean, I feel like I’m the same ME that I was as a teenager.  I have the same friends…  I dislike the same people (oh, grow up, girl!)…  I still like the colors pink and purple and all shades of violet…  I still like the same kind of music — or at least, I still DON’T like the heavy metal kind (gives me headaches), while classical music still makes me sleep…  I am still conscious of my weight — like I have been when I was infact 20lbs lighter… I still think my arms and thighs are big…

So, maybe I have matured a bit.  Maybe I look at life differently now, meaning I am not after the drama anymore.  I don’t get stressed easily now… though come to think of it, I was never really the ‘easily-stressed’  type.  I know for a fact that my personal experiences, both good and bad, have shaped me into who I am today… But somehow, for some reason, I still FEEL like I am the same person — same girl– that I was years back.  Twenty or so years back, to be precise.

I don’t really feel old.  Or ancient.  I am in my late thirties, but I feel young. I am the same Me that I have always been.

Now I realize that 30 or 40 is NOT old or ancient.  Gosh, I’m taking back the perception I had of my aunts when I was young.  I am there now… and I wouldn’t want my son or my son’s friends to think that I am not cool because I an older.

Age is JUST a number.  It’s who you are inside that truly matters in the end.

Uhm, can you please remind me of all these before I actually turn forty…  In case, you know, I start panicking and begin having my midlife crisis…  Sigh…

Maybe it’s about time that I accept — and admit– my real age.

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photo via google images

Signs that I am NOT as Young as I Say I am

In my previous entry, I wrote about how I realized that I am getting old.  To those who don’t know me too well and ask me how old I am, my press release for several years now is that I’m 27 years old.  Honestly, in my heart of hearts, I still do feel young. Or maybe, I still think — and feel– that I am the same person that I was years back.  Maybe my experiences have made me wiser (i surely do hope so!)… or maybe i have grown more stable, patient, knowledgeable.  Yet at the very core, I am still the person that I know I am, thus, it doesn’t really seem like such a big deal whether I say I am 27  or I divulge my real age.

But there are telltale signs.  And if one is to look closely, he or she will surely realize that I am faking my age.

Signs that I Am Getting Old/ I am NOT as Young as I Say I am:

1.  I know I am getting old because I started lying about my age…  which is the whole point of this blog.  Young people don’t see the need to lie about how old they are — unless they are underage and they want to go inside a bar.  But for some reason, as one gets older — specially with women, though i don’t want to generalize– you just feel like hiding your real age.  Either you subtract five years from your real age, or like me, you choose a number you’re comfortable with and celebrate that birthday age year after year.

      Older people wear their age proudly, like a badge of honor.  Well, I am proud to be 27 every year…

2.  80’s music make me jump up and dance.  I don’t just dance to them, I also sing along and actually KNOW the lyrics.   I can belt out the ballads with much gusto… which is an obvious indication that I am reminiscing and reliving my youth everytime I hear songs from that genre.

     As much as I like the songs of Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas, well, nothing still beats Madonna’s Borderline, Cindy Lauper’s Time after Time and U2’s With or Without You.  Then there’s My Sharona.  How can I possibly resist the urge to get up and dance to that?  Total giveaway, indeed.       

Wheres Elvis?

3.  Cyber lingo = Lost in Translation.    Young people are so used to using acronyms or short cuts when sending sms or when chatting.  Sadly, I am not so well versed when it comes to cyber lingo.  I remember asking a friend (yes, just last year) what brb and ttyl meant.  He ended up giving me a crash course on internet lingo.  Well, you are supposed to know these things if you claim to be young, right?

     Before we ended the chat, my friend said bfn, which i tried to decipher.  “Best friends, not?”  That totally cracked him up.  But I tried… I really did!    

4.  I now find younger guys attractive.  Okay, cougar alert!  But no, I am not looking for a boy toy or anything.  It’s just that now i seem to find younger men appealing.  Seriously, when i was younger, I used to say that I prefered older men.  I wanted them mature enough… Someone who can “protect” me.  Besides, if i were in my 20’s and I’d go for really younger males, I might be charged with child abuse or pedophilia. 

     I don’t know when my outlook changed from being attracted to someone mature to someone who seems more fun (and of course, hot).  Maybe it’s the idea that guys in their 20’s are more carefree and have less “baggage.”  And that makes them more appealing.   

STILETTO WOUNDS.

5.     The pounds stay and just won’t leave.  I used to eat chocolates and junk food and not be the least bit concerned about putting on weight.  Or if eating a lot bothers me, I would just go on a diet or work out a little, and I will be back in shape in no time.

     But now, one regular sized mocha ice blended coffee is equivalent to two (or three) days of starving myself.  I just can’t seem to shed these unwanted pounds!  It takes work and dedication and lots and lots of hours sweating it out and about a gazillion crunches.  The therapists at the slimming spa are my new best friends.  Believe me, it wasn’t this hard before.     

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6.  Doogie Howser, MD. is in my contacts.  When I was younger, the only doctor i knew was a pediatrician.  Now, in my cellphone directory, are names and contact numbers of different doctors — pediatrician, internist, ophthalmologist, ENT, an orthopedic and a surgeon even.  Not that I need all of them, but well, you’ll never know when you’ll need a consult.

     That thought just made me feel so old!

7.  I now watch CNN and BBC.  There was a time when it was only my dad who watched CNN at home.  I used to watch regular shows.  Shows with drama or suspense… or even comedy.  News were for old people.  I would rather go out and party than stay home and watch the news.

     Now I am more aware of what’s happening around the world.  I choose to be aware.  I turn to CNN before I sleep at night (after CSI finishes), and I turn to CNN in the morning before I start my day.  Worse, I even discuss global matters with my parents.  I have gone intellectual. 

 

So there.  Maybe I am the only one who can see these signs because I know of them.  But just the same, it makes me wonder why I choose to pretend that I am younger than I actually am when I can be a smart, attractive, 30++ woman who knows about the world and is not afraid to show it. 

Besides, it is quite flattering when people say that I do look a lot younger than I really am.  So maybe I should just relish that.   

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photo credits:  weheartit.com

Staying 27

It never used to bother me when people ask how old I am.  My friends are mostly of the same age so we understand each other’s language, i dress appropriately that people won’t think i’m from another era (say ’60s or 70’s), nor would they think i’m trying hard to look young… and i am surrounded by young kids a lot of times that i feel young, too.  Believe me, laughter begets laughter.  Try surrounding yourself with grumpy old people and see how long your light spirits will last.

My age used to be just a number.  It didn’t feel like such a big deal when i turned a quarter of a century.  I still felt young and alive and had so much to look forward to.   And then when i had my child, i was a happy young mom.  I had friends who went on a hiatus when they turned thirty.  They felt they were too old to stay single.  I remember being a joyful thirty year old “young” mom.   

But then lately, as i watch my son turn into a fine lad, warning bells seem to be ringing relentlessly inside my head.  Okay, so maybe it’s more of a gong that i am hearing.  That nagging sound that keeps reminding me that well, i am not so young, after all.     And that unless i stick to my make up story that i had my son at a very young age (say 16), well people who ask my age are bound to know that I am not in my late twenties — nor am i just thirty (where my age stopped.  but press release has always been 27).  Of course I can always hope that they suck at math and can’t make mental computations.

So, does this age thing bother me now?  Yes, it’s starting to.  Getting old scares me.  I don’t want to turn out old and wrinkly with gray hair.  Worse, old AND grumpy.  A hag in every sense of the word.  I am afraid of getting old without knowing my purpose in life. 

Can i do something about it? Maybe.  I can accept the fact that everybody grows older everyday. It’s a sign of life, so I should be thankful.  Perhaps embrace the idea that wisdom comes with age (… thus, i am wiser than well, my son and his friends).  I am more experienced, more knowledgeable, and i should be proud of my personal successes, big or small. 

 And yes, if i wish to age with grace, daily use of moisturizer and body lotion will help, too.  Have a strict beauty regimen.  I can dye my hair brown (or even magenta) if i feel like it.  Smiling helps a lot, too.  So maybe i should always flash my mega watt smile at friends and strangers alike.

Age is not just a number when you really think about it.  It signifies the years you have been blessed with this gift called life.    Instead of being in denial, i guess I should be grateful i have reached this far… and look forward to having more.

Of course I can always say that my son is really JUST my younger brother… but who am I kidding??

 

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watch out for: Signs that I’m Getting Old (or I’m Not as Young as I  Say I Am)