#throwback

 

bittersweet

bittersweet

January 8, 2015

I was going over my blogs from around 4 1/2 years ago– back when I was just starting to blog regularly, and yes, I hardly had any readers — and I chanced upon an entry entitled Flashbacks.

It was about a love story that did not find its happy ending.

The story happened some 20 years ago. I wrote this blog in 2010. Apologies for reposting, but do indulge me. Let’s just call this the #throwbackthursday entry.

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Flashbacks

Sometimes i can’t help but marvel at how modern technology just made everything easier– and the world much smaller — for us.

About 16 years ago, I had a relationship with this guy who lives at the other side of the world.  He came here for a vacation… and found me, instead.  The irony is, we met a month before he was supposed to go back to his homeland and we started dating a week before his departure.  So obviously, ours ended up being a long distance relationship. We were so in love then and we promised that we would make it work, distance or no distance.

It was 1994 and we still had to depend on snail mail.  Snail mail and Fedex.  Every two weeks, we would expect a letter or a package waiting at our respective doorsteps.  We spent a fortune at long distance calls, too.  We would talk on the phone every weekend for about an hour (sometimes, two).  This went on for six months (which at that time seemed like an eternity).  Then he flew back here for Christmas, stayed here for a couple of months, then went back home with the promise that we will make the long distance relationship last…

… and then he was gone.  Gone forever.

No, he did not die or anything.  We just proved that long distance relationships, well, never really go the distance (pardon the pun, please).  We pretty much showed everybody that no matter how “in love” two people are, the distance between them can really take its toll.  I think it took all of three months after he left the second time when we came to the realization that it was difficult.  Actually, he came to that realization first (and was too immature not to tell me)… ergo, the relationship basically ended badly — with me cursing him to high heavens, that is.  So basically, he could have just died and i wouldn’t have minded at that time (that was me being mature about the break up).

But i digress.  Point is, fast forward 16 years later, present day 2010… Because of the world wide web, because of YM, emails, facebook, webcams, text messages and cellphone calls that don’t cost a fortune,  we are now in touch with people who are at the other side of the world.  My best friend/person lives at the other side of the world, too, and I chat with her almost every day.  My friends and relatives who are in countries of different time zones are always updated about the news and happenings here.  In real time.  It’s a small world, after all.

Sometimes I do wonder whether my relationship with the guy would have lasted if we had all these communication tools then.  Maybe we wouldn’t have felt the distance right away.  Perhaps it wouldn’t have felt like we were having an affair with a piece of paper.  Though it would probably be like having a virtual relationship (or having a relationship with the computer), well at least the other party answers back fast… no need to wait for two weeks.

But then long distance is still long distance.  It’s still upto the people involved whether they will let the distance get in the way… or work on the relationship until they are together once more.

In case you are wondering what happened to long distance-guy… Well, we found each other in facebook a couple of years ago.  Yeah, who would have thought.  But then 16years is a long time, and people change.  I guess you pretty much have an idea how it went…

It went nowhere. 

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It’s Mr. 1994’s birthday tomorrow, January 9. Yes, I still remember 🙂

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Photo via yahoo images

Sleepless but happy

Couldn't. Sleep.

Couldn’t. Sleep.

Something happened yesterday that had a direct effect on my sleeping habits…

Unexpected effect: Sleepless night.  Possible cause: Blogging.

Here’s why… You see, several hours after I posted my blog, my email started receiving notifications saying either someone has liked my post or someone started following me.  After the second or the third notification, I realized that people actually read what I wrote! Oh yey! — I no longer had to think that maybe I was just talking to myself or to the air (cyber air?!) the whole time… 

It felt good, really, knowing that someone’s interested enough… And so, I spent most part of the night peeking at either my email inbox or my WordPress notification to find out if there was another “like” or “follower.”  I was like a child on a Christmas morning.  Excited and expectant.

Then WordPress made me giddier by posting this: January 7 – Your best day for likes on “Supergoddess Me.”  Never mind if the number of likes isn’t even more than 20… Come to think of it, I’m not even sure if it’s more than 10… Yet, I’m still thankful.  So thankful I wanted to dance for joy the whole night.

My mind was so active, I started thinking of topics to write about, stories to share next.  It was already almost midnight and I was still so excited… and I was also so awake.

This is the effect blogging has on me… Though it’s also possible that the Mocha Ice Blended drink that I bought in the afternoon played a part…

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When it’s almost midnight and you couldn’t sleep, sometimes you turn to your television for support and companionship. You try to find either something worthwhile that will make you feel glad you stayed awake… or something utterly boring that will lull you to sleep.

Last night, I found Criminal Minds. Fortunately the episode wasn’t a rerun. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop watching.

Criminal Minds

Hotchner. Morgan. *drool*

I remember mentioning in my blog years back how much I loved the show.  Between Hotchner and Morgan, gawd, what’s not to love?! I simply ADORE Shemar Moore (Derek Morgan).  Every time Criminal Minds is on air, I somehow get glued… regardless of how gory the episode may be.

So instead of falling asleep, I found myself at midnight wide awake, intently watching Criminal Minds, eventually getting creeped out… ended up praying that I won’t have bad dreams when I finally do fall asleep.

Not good.

But because of Derek Morgan, it wasn’t exactly that bad, either.

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Around six hours later…

It’s a brand new day.  I think I slept well, considering… and I woke up reenergized.  First thing I did when I woke up was to check my notification. Haha, talk about the need for affirmation.

Before I delve into my insecurities and start babbling, let me thank you for taking time yesterday — and today — to read what I had to say.  Thank you for “following” the site.  I hope I don’t disappoint. Maybe sometimes, I will — especially during the times when I am not exactly writing something deep or profound… (like now?!). But thank you just the same.

It feels good knowing that my words reach someone. Hopefully I get to entertain or inspire.  I hope you stick around. DO stick around.

Regardless of how old we get, there will always be that child in us waiting for that moment of thrill and pure joy.

Writing brings me pure joy.  I am happy when I get to put my thoughts into words. And I am happier when people appreciate those words.

It’s Christmas morning all over again.

SGM

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photo credits: wide-eyed smiley via iemoji ; Criminal Minds via google images

…and I’m BACK!!!

It’s 2015.

Hello again, blogworld.  Wow. It’s been so long.

On my last blog post here, I remember saying goodbye and telling my readers that I will be starting a new blog where I would be blogging under my real name… no secret identity, no code names…

I thought I was ready to blog about anything and everything.  I thought it was easy to mention real names of real people I wanted to blog about.  Boy, was I wrong.  Basically I found out that my friends were not exactly too keen on being mentioned in my blogs — not unless I was all praises all the time.  Also, during those times when all I wanted was to vent, it proved quite difficult blogging when I had to censor my thoughts.  An entry full of bleeps or *** won’t really amount to anything.

And so, eventually, I got tired of blogging about bleeps.  And I just let time pass.  And I basically didn’t write anything — not one blog, not one article, not a single write up — for almost a year.  I stopped writing.  I feel like I stopped being a writer.

Judging by the way I began three sentences with the word “and,” I guess you know what I mean.

I missed it, really.  Writing, I mean.  Although I had a lot of other things to keep me busy, there were times when I just wanted to stay in a quiet place and just write.  Write about anything.  But then I’d realize that I had nothing to write for — and so I’ll just decide to do something else… Like watch tv… Yeah, how productive. My brain cells were working overtime

Over the Christmas holidays, I found myself checking out this old blogsite of mine.  I reread some posts… I laughed at most, smirked at some… and I relived a number of nice moments that I wrote about.  I truly felt bad when I saw that a lot of the pictures I reposted have been removed or are now nowhere to be found. Sigh.

I have always, ALWAYS liked this blogsite.  Who wouldn’t relish being a Supergoddess, hello?! And so I have resolved to revive this site.

Oh, yes.  I am back.  I still have a lot to tell… stories to share… people to talk about… Kidding on the last one, of course.

Maybe I will have more followers now… maybe not.  I guess what matters is that I get to write and share my thoughts and my wisdom.

And maybe, just maybe, I will at the very least make one reader smile… I believe that’s enough for now.

Care to join the journey of the Supergoddess?

fireworks

Happy 2015!!

 

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PS… I promise to fix the other photos on the older posts. Just give me time. 🙂

SGM

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photo via google images

 

Miss me?!

Dear friends,

It has been fun being Supergoddess Me.  I do thank all of you for stopping by, taking time out to read my blogs.  But in case you missed my going away notice several posts back (Can You Keep a Secret?), I just want to let you know that I have decided to create a new blog and I have started writing as the real Me. 

To update you on how my new blog is doing… Well, I haven’t been writing much so my posts come sporadically.  No one else to blame but myself.  I have been quite busy doing other stuff.

Whenever I do get the chance — or when I get a sudden burst of inspiration– I believe I am able to come up with something deep.  Most of the times, though, I still do a lot of whining.

So if you chanced upon reading this message… or if you really follow my blog — and just missed my “moving out” notice, please do drop by my new blogsite.  With emphasis on the please.

Truth be told, I’m getting lonely out there. 

www.adailydoseofbetsy.wordpress.com — Life as it Happens

Hope to see you soon.

SGM

My (Other) Lonely Planet

****photo via SGM’s laptop

Can You Keep a Secret?

Somewhere over the rainbow...

Almost two years ago, I created this blog to further develop my writing abilities.  Writing has always been a passion, but since I didn’t have a regular writing job, I felt I needed an avenue… a place where I can express my thoughts and views.  Blogworld was a good place for that.

And so I created Supergoddess Me… I wrote at first for myself, then eventually for blogfriends from all around the world.

I met people in the cyberworld… I made some readers laugh, probably even inspired others.  I shared bits and pieces of who I am to my readers (from all around the world.  I just HAD to repeat that because it sounded nice!).  But I never really gave away my true identity.  Partly because in a way I was protecting myself  ( hey, if you’re a regular, you would have heard me vent… and it ain’t always nice!).  Maybe at the same time I was protecting the people (real ones) closest to me. 

This is like my alternate universe.  Only a handful of my friends know about this site — let alone, read it.  And so I can rant and rave all I want without the people I know hearing about it (haha, pure evil!).  Nor am I judged or criticized by people I know who are not exactly my friends but who just enjoy criticizing other people for the heck of it (because they are evil, too!). 

These past several months I went through a lot of experiences that I would love to share or write about.  However I realized that it’s quite difficult talking about “real life” when you’re hiding behind a character.  For some reason I came to the realization that I cannot share my ordinary everydays if I’m writing as Supergoddess Me.  And boy, do I have a lot of ordinary everydays to share!

Basically, what I am trying to say is this… I’M MOVING!!!  I’m moving to another blogsite. 

But don’t feel bad (if you do feel bad, that is!).  Every once in a while I will drop by and visit, and maybe write something — or do more venting– here.   And it’s not as if I’m going to leave my blogfriends out in the cold.  I’ m bringing you guys along!

My dear friends in blog universe, follow me as I write some more, this time in another address.  Out there I will be writing as myself (I’m dropping the Super from the Goddess. Dig that!).  I will still be the same nutty writer that I am — with less venting, of course… But I believe that out there you will get to know the real ME better. 

You are all invited!    Check me out at www.adailydoseofbetsy.wordpress.com (Life as it Happens).  And join me in my journey — as my real life happens.

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But this is not exactly goodbye.  I might drop in every once in a while and share something here.   Besides, my new friends out there don’t know about this site (you are directed there, yet they are NOT directed here)… so basically we’re still sharing a secret.  Can you keep a secret?

Signing off for now… Supergoddess Me.

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photo via weheartit.com

 

 

My Apologies

Several months ago I went on vacation.  Just before I left, I mentioned here in my blog that I would be gone and that I would come back refreshed, reenergized, and with lots and lots of stories to tell and pictures to share.

Well I did come back reenergized.  I had a blast visiting my favorite cousin and my other relatives.  I do remember sharing several pictures.  I also remember promising to share more as soon as I finished transferring the pictures from my digicam to my computer.

That, ladies and gentlemen, was about almost two months ago.  After posting the picture of my close encounter with darling George (Clooney), I seemed to have disappeared once again.

This time, not for a vacation.  This time, for work.  I had to work on something my son loved… something that even I have grown to love. 

Baseball.

Getting Ready for July

Several blogs back, I mentioned about a baseball tournament that I was organizing.  Well, said tournament is this July… and it seems like the moment I got back from vacation, I had to spend all my waking hours preparing for the said event. 

I won’t go into the details anymore, but between the emails, the sponsorship letters we had to write, the people we had to talk to, the parents’ meetings, the weekend and even weekday scrimmages, the uniforms we had to order, the travel plans, the accommodations, the gossips and attacks we were getting from envious people… well, there were just so many things going on that I couldn’t find the time to just sit down and compose something other than a marketing letter or a school excuse letter.  There just wasn’t enough time.  My creative juices were simply not flowing in the blogging direction.

See? I just went into the details when I said I wouldn’t.

But despite the work it entails, despite the jealous detractors that we know we have (there just are people who cannot be happy for the success of others), I simply love everything that’s happening.  I love my co-parents in the team, I love the support everyone’s been giving to each other.  I love the fact that though there’s no monetary compensation involved, the parents generously give of themselves — by sharing whatever talents, gifts or skills that they have.  They don’t tell the coaches what to do, but they support each player from the sidelines.  Nobody acts superior.  Not one player acts like he’s the star. 

We are a team. The players, the coaching staff, the parents and the rest of their families work together as one.  Because we have a common goal.  The goal of not just winning, but of making better people out of these 12 boys.

Don't just be good. Be GREAT.

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I have lots to share.  And I know after this major tournament, I will have lots MORE to share.  But for now, I know I have to focus on the tasks at hand. 

And yes, I also need to get some sleep. 

So I bid you bye for now.  Maybe I will pop up once in a while and share something I learned or experienced while watching the boys’ training.  Or maybe I can write about the fun that the parents are having — especially when they are making fun of each other.  But I’m not promising anything at this point.

I’ll miss my readers… as much as I have missed blogging.  But like I said, there are other things I have to prioritize.  Besides, blogging at 12:45 in the morning just isn’t healthy.

So I bid you adieu for now.  Maybe you’ll hear from me after July. 

But wherever you may be, can you please say a short prayer for our boys… for protection, for strength and perseverance,  for sportsmanship, for success… and most importantly, pray that they keep the joy in their hearts.  Win or lose.  

 À tout à l’heure.

Never.

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photos via weheartit.com

Life Matters

peace and quiet

At just about the same time that I was writing my blog last Friday, something tragic was happening in Japan.

As I was musing about the universe telling me something by way of a sudden increase in my blog hits, somewhere out there, nature was making its power felt thru a strong earthquake and a devastating tsunami.

My sign was just a mere whisper.  For the people affected by the earthquake and the tsunami, the universe practically sent them a scream. 

There may be no connection between me and them.  Or there is a great connection between all of us, because we are all living in one planet… our lives, one way or the other, interwoven. 

As I watched the news about the calamity that befell Japan, I can’t help but be ashamed of the little things that I let myself get bothered by.  Somehow, my concerns seemed trivial, even shallow, compared to the plight of the ones affected by the calamity.   

The tsunami that hit Japan showed how everything is fleeting.  In a split second, one can lose everything that he has.  It also made me realize that one can never be too ready.  Having too much money, or a big house, or whatever material stuff you can think of, cannot protect you from whatever the universe throws your way. 

A lot of things we deem important all of a sudden seemed to lose their relevance.

Fragile and Precious

Life is fragile.  It can be taken away from you with or without warning.  That’s why your every single breathing moment should count. (And yes, it’s not about counting blog hits.) 

Life is precious.  Each of us has only one life to live.  Perhaps the best thing to do is to live it well. 

What does living well mean?  Maybe it’s by choosing to be happy.  It’s by choosing to make other people happy.  It’s about lending a hand to others less fortunate… putting a smile on someone else’s face… or even by just smiling at other people.

Maybe it’s about sharing.  It’s by blessing others with what you, yourself, are blessed with.  It may be by sharing what you no longer need to those who need it more… or sharing your talent for others to learn from… or maybe even sharing your time with those people who really just need someone who will listen or stay with them. 

Sometimes we get  too wrapped up in ourselves that we worry and we get stressed and anxious about the littlest things.  Our world seems to get so small… basically because our world revolves around ourselves.

Look outside.  There’s a big world around you.  Other people share your troubles.  There are other people who have greater troubles even. 

Maybe if we know what it means to be thankful… REALLY thankful… for the things that we have, then life won’t be such a struggle. 

contentment

Yes, I believe in striving hard to get better.  I believe in expecting greatness.  We all deserve that.  Yet I also believe in contentment.  Contentment doesn’t mean limiting yourself or setting your standards low.  To me it’s about being at peace with what you have and not putting emphasis on just the material things.  It’s about being grateful for what you have at present. 

It is about finding joy in what you have, what you are doing and where you are.  In the end, that’s all that really matters, right? 

“I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.” 

– Indian proverb

 

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photos via weheartit.com

Author’s note: Welcome back, my pretty pink background! 🙂

When the Universe Tells You Something…

For the Drama Queen Me

In my last blog, I was basically ranting about being so busy that I don’t get to write as often as I would want.  I talked about how my family always comes first and how I am ready to give up things I am supposed to do for myself the moment one family member hollers for me. 

I was pretty sad that day.  It was one of those moments when you want to do a lot of things but you know that you won’t be fair to anybody if you choose to do all.   I wanted to write more often.  I wanted to start on my writing project, but I also am in the middle of planning a major baseball event, that my thoughts are pretty much all over the place.  Throw in the day to day activities of the brood… So the other day, it really felt like something’s gotta give.  Basically it felt like that something was me.

Honestly, I feel bad whenever I see my blog hits dwindling.  And for several days leading to my last entry, my hits were somehow stuck at 3 a day — okay, sometimes 2.  Hurray for me.  I really felt quite low.  But then again, I can’t blame my readers… why will they stay (or come back) if I can’t offer anything new, right?  

I was beginning to feel the pressure.  Part of me was saying, I must blog everyday.  I must have more hits.  Another part was saying, Forget the blog. Start your dream project.  And still another part, Forget all those.  You have a baseball tournament to manage!!

which way now?!

Bottomline is, I felt like I had to explain myself.  I had to explain why it’s taking forever for me to start my writing project.  Explain why my blog stats is in its near-death state.   Explain why I’m hovering over my son as he studies for his exams.  I felt like I had to explain every little thing I do, every choice I make.  Though I don’t really know who I am explaining to… I may be explaining to the wind, for that matter… It just felt better afterwards. 

Maybe, just maybe, at the back of my mind I knew that I wouldn’t feel as bad anymore when I see my blog stats.  I was giving myself reasons to NOT feel bad that no one visits my blog (since there’s nothing new to see anyway).  And I was releasing myself from that pressure of having to compose something even when my thoughts are  in shambles (Pretty much like now?!).  I told myself I won’t force myself to blog if I don’t have anything to blog about… and I won’t feel guilty not having blogged.  More so, I won’t get suicidal after seeing my blog stats. 

That was three days ago. 

And then something happened… again. 

Yesterday was another busy day.  I didn’t get the chance to check my WordPress page the whole day.  Besides, after 5 days of having a mere 3 hits per day, I pretty much knew the trend.  And since I didn’t post a new entry, then all the more I couldn’t expect anything more than 3.

Come night time, just before I went to bed, I opened my WordPress account.  Force of habit.  Some practices are hard to let go of…

Not mine. Though my graph looked somewhat like this.

76. Seventy six. LXXVI.  At ten in the evening, I had 76 hits.  I almost fell off my chair. 

Okay you might be thinking, cheap thrills SGM!   But no, to me that wasn’t cheap.  Not when I was getting used to 3.  76 is a gift!  Though at the back of my mind I was thinking that maybe half of that was from a spam-connected link (sorry, I don’t know the word for it), well I was still happy with the number.  I ended the day with 79.  Of course they had to add 3 more (probably my 3 loyal fans remembered to visit my blog that night).

Whole point of this entry?!  Well, the universe HAS a sense of humor.  Just when you thought you are ready to give up on something, the universe will find a way to make you NOT give it up if you truly are not ready.  Just when you thought you have lost all direction, the universe will show you the way… or will veer you to a direction you can take.

Just when I thought I ran out of topics to write about, well, I had this.  And just when I thought that I didn’t have the time to sit down and write… well, I found the time to sit down and write.  It was just a matter of time management.

When the universe tells you something… maybe you should just listen.

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photos via weheartit.com / WP stats via google images