Have you ever rejected someone in Facebook? (That is, if you have a Facebook account.)
If you do have an account then you know what I mean… You check your notifications one morning, then you find friend requests from people you don’t really know… or people you used to know in earlier life but never really talked to. And so for a moment you contemplate on befriending them because, after all, you have matured and you are friendlier now. Or maybe because the stranger’s profile picture looked just like George Clooney… oh wait, it IS George Clooney in the picture! Duh?!
Sometimes I feel bad not responding to someone’s friend request that I just let the invitation sit for, say, about six months… Okay, so maybe that person would have already figured out by now that I didn’t really want to accept the friend request. Though at least technically I haven’t really rejected said person so I have no reason to feel guilty. But then again, not confirming the request is pretty much telling.
So am I a bad person if I hit the “ignore request” button? But then again, do I really want to be friends with Monsieur Delifrance from Paris or Mr. Macho-Wearing-Tank-Tops from uhm, the gym? What about this high school classmate that I NEVER breathed a single word to, all those years we were classmates? All I remember is that the boys used to tease him a lot. And Mean Girl Me couldn’t help but laugh whenever they teased him (gimme a break, I was very young then!). And then now this guy wants us to be Facebook friends. If I hit the ignore button, then it’s like rejecting him all over again.
Now I feel just like JLo (yes, the new American Idol judge). We both just can’t say NO. Watch American Idol auditions and you will know what I am talking about. (This is not a paid advertisement for AI, you don’t really have to watch the show if it’s not your thing.)
Back to Facebook. What I am saying is, nobody likes being rejected. Unfortunately, while to some people Facebook is a great way to ‘find’ friends, well it can also be an avenue to reject people.
But of course, you can’t say yes to all friend requests, especially the ones coming from total strangers. They may look hot and yummy (did I just say yummy?!), but didn’t mother tell you not to talk to strangers?? I guess Mr. H & Y wouldn’t mind being rejected. Besides, even if he does mind, you don’t really know him so who cares, right?
What about Mr. High School Teased-a-Lot? Is it right to reject his invite? But when I think about it, do I really want to know his status updates? Do I really care?? And if I see him walking somewhere, will I even smile or say hi to him (like Facebook friendship gives you a connection). I think not. I don’t even how he looks like now (no photo uploaded), so I wouldn’t know if it’s him. What’s the point, right?
Several months ago I received a friend request from another high school classmate (let’s call him Mr. Teased-a-Lot #2). Despite the same misgivings (I didn’t really know him, I never talked to him before, etc), I accepted the request. Funny thing was, the profile photo he uploaded was the picture of the wrestler Batista. Yey, I am now friends with Batista. Maybe I can smile at him (Batista) when I bump into him. See?! What’s the point in being Facebook friends with someone you don’t really know anything about?
The next time I checked, his profile picture was a ferret. Great, I’m friends with a ferret. Now I am thinking of ‘defriending’ the ferret, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Rejection. Some people really just ask for it.
Truth be told, I can only think of one Facebook rejection that I had. Back when I was pretty new in Facebook, I sent friend requests to friends (and not really friends) both from high school and college. I remember sending this guy (an old college crush) a friend request thinking that he knew me from school anyway – because I was always stalking him (haha, that was a joke, of course!!). Seriously, at some point in our college lives, we talked a few times. And so I was just being friendly. And mature. Yeah right.
Two and a half years later (that means today), my friend request is still probably sitting—or rotting – in his friend request box. Or maybe he has ignored it the moment he saw it. So there, I was rejected in college… twenty years later, I was rejected once again, this time, in Facebook. How fun is that?
Because I don’t do well with rejection, I stopped inviting people to be my Facebook friends. As much as it pains me (such drama!) to hit the ignore button on someone’s invite, my psyche also can only take so much rejection, so why risk it?
Besides, the people who really matter know where to find me.
In real life. Not in Facebook.
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photos via weheartit.com ; Macho Man Randy Savage via google images