Facing Your Giants

 

Fearless

We are currently embarking on a big project for my son and his baseball teammates.  We were invited to a week-long, out of town tournament where the boys will be playing against ten teams from different places.  To say that it is a privilege to be invited will be an understatement.  This would be an experience that is good for the boys.  They will be playing as a team… and they will be playing as friends. 

However, since there is an age requirement and the games will not be until July, the more senior players will already move to the next bracket, thus, leaving the younger ones.  But given the fact that they have been playing together for the school for two or three years now they all know each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  You would think that the confidence will still be there despite the fact that some boys are already moving up.

Talking to the parents about the invitation elicited various reactions, though.  At first most of them were excited… REALLY excited.  They saw that this is a great opportunity for their kid.  It’s not just an interschool tournament… the kids will play against teams from other countries, even.  Some parents were just plain gung-ho.  They were very thankful that their son was given the chance to join the team.   They even offered to help in whatever way they can just to get the team there. Their first question was, “When’s the first practice?”

But then, there were parents whose first reaction was fear.  Followed by doubt.  Coupled with disbelief.   Fear: “What if the boys there are twice as big as our boys?”  Doubt: “We don’t want them to get clobbered.  It will be devastating.” Disbelief: “Are our boys good enough?  Maybe they should send more senior players… ours are mostly at the lower age of the bracket .”  (Goodness, the age level’s 11-12.  It’s either they are 11 OR 12.)

And so the strong team that we saw in the beginning started disappearing right before our eyes.  Mainly because there were parents who apparently didn’t see their kids as good enough to add value to the team.  What they focused on were the big players of the opposing teams.  Players they have not even seen yet. 

It is just plain sad.

~ * ~

Who's your Giant?

We all have giants to face at some point in our lives. 

Life is like one baseball game… we are all on the same playing field, but the players come in different shapes and sizes.  You don’t always know what or who you will be up against.  That’s why we equip ourselves… we train, we improve our skills, we build our confidence… we try to make ourselves better.   

We ready ourselves so that when time comes that we come face to face with ‘giants,’ we don’t cower in fear.  We slug it out. 

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose.  But losing isn’t all that bad if we know that we fought ‘til the end and we gave it our best.  What’s sad is if we give up even before we try.  The game hasn’t begun, yet we have already succumbed to defeat. 

Yes, we don’t always win.  There are giants that are just too big and too powerful.  It is easier to give in to fear and self-doubt.  But then again, what about those times when we win over problems, issues or challenges that seemed bigger than us? What about those times when we made that extra step which led us to victory when all along we thought it was a hopeless situation?  What about those times when we believed in ourselves, our capabilities enough to prove that not every difficult situation is a hopeless one? 

~*~

Thinking about our baseball-parent-friends and their reasons for not wanting their children to join the team… reasons that are basically motivated by fear, I can’t help but feel sad and disappointed.  Here is an opportunity that practically fell on our hands… something that other children (and parents) would die for and could only hope for… But they are willing to let go of the opportunity because of fear.  Fear of losing.  Fear of having bigger opponents.  Fear of things not being easy. 

But then life ISN’T always easy. 

Yes, everyone’s entitled to his or her own opinion.  Maybe these parents don’t believe in the other boys enough.  Maybe they don’t believe in their kids enough.  Or maybe they just don’t see the value that this tournament will bring to their child.  I think for my part, I just have to learn to respect their decisions.  I also believe that maybe this is for the best.  We wouldn’t want to have someone in the team whose heart is not in it.  Maybe we are better off with other players who are willing to train, willing to fight, willing to face their giants.

Devastating loss?  I believe that if you give your best, there’s no such thing as a devastating loss.  You may not win the game– but the bonding, the team work, the memories… the over-all experience, these are reasons enough to make one feel victorious. 

Do you only win because you scored higher… or do you win because you lived the experience?

It is all a matter of perspective.

very well said...

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photos via weheartit.com

Rejection in the Time of Facebook

Facebook Friend?

 

Have you ever rejected someone in Facebook? (That is, if you have a Facebook account.) 

If you do have an account then you know what I mean… You check your notifications one morning, then you find friend requests from people you don’t really know… or people you used to know in earlier life but never really talked to.  And so for a moment you contemplate on befriending them because, after all, you have matured and you are friendlier now.  Or maybe because the stranger’s profile picture looked just like George Clooney… oh wait, it IS George Clooney in the picture! Duh?!

Sometimes I feel bad not responding to someone’s friend request that I just let the invitation sit for, say, about six months… Okay, so maybe that person would have already figured out by now that I didn’t really want to accept the friend request.  Though at least technically I haven’t really rejected said person so I have no reason to feel guilty.  But then again, not confirming the request is pretty much telling.

Facebook friend wannabe

So am I a bad person if I hit the “ignore request” button? But then again, do I really want to be friends with Monsieur Delifrance from Paris or Mr. Macho-Wearing-Tank-Tops from uhm, the gym?  What about this high school classmate that I NEVER breathed a single word to, all those years we were classmates?  All I remember is that the boys used to tease him a lot.  And Mean Girl Me couldn’t help but laugh whenever they teased him (gimme a break, I was very young then!).  And then now this guy wants us to be Facebook friends.  If I hit the ignore button, then it’s like rejecting him all over again. 

Now I feel just like JLo (yes, the new American Idol judge).  We both just can’t say NO.  Watch American Idol auditions and you will know what I am talking about.  (This is not a paid advertisement for AI, you don’t really have to watch the show if it’s not your thing.)

Back to Facebook.  What I am saying is, nobody likes being rejected.  Unfortunately, while to some people Facebook is a great way to ‘find’ friends, well it can also be an avenue to reject people. 

Facebook friend hottie

But of course, you can’t say yes to all friend requests, especially the ones coming from total strangers.  They may look hot and yummy (did I just say yummy?!), but didn’t mother tell you not to talk to strangers??  I guess Mr. H & Y wouldn’t mind being rejected.  Besides, even if he does mind, you don’t really know him so who cares, right?

What about Mr. High School Teased-a-Lot?  Is it right to reject his invite?  But when I think about it, do I really want to know his status updates? Do I really care?? And if I see him walking somewhere, will I even smile or say hi to him (like Facebook friendship gives you a connection). I think not.  I don’t even how he looks like now (no photo uploaded), so I wouldn’t know if it’s him. What’s the point, right?  

Several months ago I received a friend request from another high school classmate (let’s call him Mr. Teased-a-Lot #2).  Despite the same misgivings (I didn’t really know him, I never talked to him before, etc), I accepted the request.  Funny thing was, the profile photo he uploaded was the picture of the wrestler Batista. Yey, I am now friends with Batista.  Maybe I can smile at him (Batista) when I bump into him.  See?! What’s the point in being Facebook friends with someone you don’t really know anything about?  

Facebook friend ferret

The next time I checked, his profile picture was a ferret. Great, I’m friends with a ferret.  Now I am thinking of ‘defriending’ the ferret, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Rejection.  Some people really just ask for it.

Truth be told, I can only think of one Facebook rejection that I had.  Back when I was pretty new in Facebook, I sent friend requests to friends (and not really friends) both from high school and college.  I remember sending this guy (an old college crush) a friend request thinking that he knew me from school anyway – because I was always stalking him (haha, that was a joke, of course!!).   Seriously, at some point in our college lives, we talked a few times. And so I was just being friendly. And mature.  Yeah right.

Two and a half years later (that means today), my friend request is still probably sitting—or rotting – in his friend request box.  Or maybe he has ignored it the moment he saw it.  So there, I was rejected in college… twenty years later, I was rejected once again, this time, in Facebook.  How fun is that?

A Goddess Rejected

Because I don’t do well with rejection, I stopped inviting people to be my Facebook friends.  As much as it pains me (such drama!) to hit the ignore button on someone’s invite, my psyche also can only take so much rejection, so why risk it? 

Besides, the people who really matter know where to find me. 

In real life. Not in Facebook.

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

photos via weheartit.com ; Macho Man Randy Savage via google images

Mean Girls

girltalk

I had breakfast with one of my mommy friends last week.  We didn’t get to see each other over the holidays, so I decided to visit her one January morning to catch up on things.

We’ve been friends since our children were in Sr. Prep (they are now in Grade 5).  Her child is a girl, while mine is a boy.  The gender was never an issue, though.  They hang out with other boys and girls whose moms are friends of ours, too. We have had a number of Christmas breakfasts with the kids, as well as Halloween parties and lazy summer afternoon get-togethers.

When I apologized for missing the last Christmas breakfast, she had this to say… “You wouldn’t believe it.  The kids DON’T talk to each other anymore!!! The boys were at one corner of the room playing PSP, while the girls were at the other side, talking in hushed voices.  It’s like they don’t know each other!  When I asked them if they wanted to swim, they all gave me this stare like I said something silly, and then all looked away at the same time.” 

“They have changed. All of them.  I wonder if they really ignore each other in school,” she sighed, “I don’t know what happened to those kids!”

I think I know what happened.  They grew up.  They all grew up – right under our noses – and they started choosing their own friends.  They found the friends they want to be with in school.  Unfortunately, mommy’s friends’ children aren’t always the people they prefer hanging out with (or being seen with, at the very worst).

Friendship isn’t something that you can force on someone. 

 ~ * ~

I asked my son if he’s still friends with my friend’s daughter and if they talk to each other in school.  He answered yes to both questions.  Then I told him about the Christmas get-together and how the other kids didn’t mind each other.  He just gave me a knowing smile.

I told He-Man about the incident.  This was his explanation, “They are at that age where they are starting to choose their group of friends… or who they want to be associated with.  You know the groups… athletes, nerds, mean girls, misfits.”  And he continues, “Come on, you should know.  You were a mean girl in high school. Did you talk to the misfits?” 

I was stunned.  He-Man called me a mean girl.  But then again, I couldn’t deny it.  I WAS a mean girl in a high school.  Shamefully so.

~ * ~

now you know why i like pink

 How can a shy girl* end up being a mean girl, you may ask? 

Oh, I was a nice, mean girl.  I wasn’t really nasty.  I never did anything bad to a schoolmate just for the heck of it.  But then back in high school, although I was pretty active and joined clubs and school organizations, I wasn’t really friendly to just anyone.  I used to regard people at arm’s length.  I chose the ones I would talk to.  I wasn’t warm and friendly.

I think I was more mean to boys than the girls.  There were boys that you wouldn’t catch me talking to.  The boys I went out with basically just came from the two groups of popular boys in our batch.  I don’t remember having a conversation with the lesser mortals. 

Boy was I mean.  And immature.

My best guy friend from before told me that I seemed to have this fortress built around me.  Self-preservation, that’s what I called it.  Or maybe I was really just a self-centered and egotistical person who thought everybody else is beneath her. Perhaps it was my need to prove myself, my worth, that compelled me to act all high and mighty.

Eventually I attributed my haughtiness to my being really shy and insecure.  Unfortunately, nobody bought that reason. I am pretty sure they thought I was just a snob.

Half of the Facebook friends I have right now are people I NEVER talked to when we were young. A quarter of them I didn’t even know existed. Believe me, I chose the people I would converse with in high school. It’s surprising they still wanted to be Facebook friends with me today.

 ~ *~

I have come a long way, really.  From being shy and insecure child to a mean girl to a nice, happy, sociable and smile-a-lot adult.

Perhaps it’s because I have come to realize that one should not judge other people by their mere appearance.  Maybe it’s also because my experiences taught me that it IS much better to be liked than feared.  It feels much better to open up your heart to people than to live inside your fortress all by yourself. 

People do change.  People mature.  People mellow down.  As you age, you get to realize that everything’s not about you.  You get to value people more.  You tend to be less critical, especially since you know that you are not perfect, as well.

But then again, some people DON’T change.  There are mean girls who grow up to be mean adults. Am I glad I am no longer one of them.

At this point I know I cannot choose my child’s friends for him.  He has his own experiences that will dictate that. Yet I know I can always give a gentle reminder… Be nice to a misfit, he might grow up to be someone really important.  Okay, that was a joke.  That was not exactly mature. 

Be nice to everyone just because.  Much better.

 

*** *** *** *** *** ***

*see previous entry “Love Thyself”

photo via weheartit.com

 

Love Thyself

Supergoddess Me

Female:  “I can’t think of a name for my blog.”

Friend:  “Why not Supergoddess?  It fits you.”

Female:  “Hmm. You’re right.  It does, doesn’t it? Thanks!”

AND then Supergoddess Me was born…

~ * ~

I wasn’t always this cocky… confident… sure of myself.  Believe me, once upon a time, I was this shy, timid girl with inferiority complex who gets sick in the stomach and vomits everytime she’s nervous.  Okay, so maybe that still happens to me ’til today (old habits die hard), but I am far different from who-what-how I was years ago.

I grew up under the shadow of an older sister.  Older sister was smart, confident, outgoing, no-nonsense type of girl… a real toughie.  She was also the nanny’s favorite.  And since we were left with our nanny for the most part of our growing up days, well, older sister basically ruled.  Nanny just adored her and everybody knows about it.  I for one, knew about it.  How can I not when I was always, ALWAYS being compared to her?

She’s not as tough… She can’t be on her own, she might get lost… She’s so nice, people will take advantage of her… She can’t take care of herself… She’s NOT a lawyer she won’t know what to do…

Those were but some of the words I heard spoken about me.  And somehow, they stuck.  When you are young, you are easily influenced by what others think about you.  Give a child words of encouragement, and you will build her confidence.  Tell a child how disappointing you think she is, and you will easily see the change on how she sees herself.  Eventually she will prove that she IS a disappointment if that is what you keep ingraining in her. 

For some time when I was growing up,  I think my self-esteem was subzero.  Self worth… uhm, what self worth?

My confidence level improved somewhat when I was in high school.  I realized that I was smart enough.  I was a diligent student, too.  And so I studied hard, made sure that my grades were above average, so I had something to be proud of.  Something to feel good about.  I knew, as well, that my parents would be proud of me, too, if I kept getting good grades.  I was somewhat active in high school. I had a lot of friends, I joined contests and clubs, but I made it a point to hit the books whenever needed — which was all the time.  I was a closet nerd. 

College was another thing, though.  The university was big, the course was tough, I had to make new friends, so it was pretty much like going back to square one.  I had to prove myself all over.  I was a diligent student still, yet I guess my shy side prevented me from shining.

I think it was when I started working that my transformation took place.  It was then that I realized that there’s nothing wrong with being nice, or patient, nor is it bad to smile a lot.  In a way I looked at  my being “charming” as an advantage.  It made people warm up to me.  Being friendly and approachable helped.  Eventually as they found out that I had brains, too, well I guess I gained their respect more.

But more than what the others may think about me, my confidence level grew when I started seeing myself differently.  It was when I stopped comparing myself to others — my sister, my mom, my friends– that I began to value myself more.  It was when I accepted myself for who I am that I understood what self-worth is all about.

Oh yes, I still had my moments.  There still were people who tried to bring out the insecure, inferiority complexed person in me.  In my past life, I went out with someone who was emotionally abusive.  For some time I was inching back to subzero… It took the intervention of my best friends to make me realize that I shouldn’t let anyone trample on my self-esteem, nor should I start comparing myself to other women… specially when, according to them, I am already several levels high up.  Thank God for caring friends!

One YOU

We are all unique individuals.  Our differences make us who we are.  Our differences make us special.  We are all an “original” given our strengths, as well as our flaws and imperfections.  Our self worth should not be dependent on other people. 

You don’t need another person to define you. 

 

What’s important is that you KNOW yourself.

And LOVE yourself.

 

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

photos via weheartit.com

Princess for a Day… (A Birthday Blog)

fit for a princess

Twenty years ago, around this time of year, I celebrated my 18th birthday with a big party. With big, I meant, gowns, suits, good food, party coordinator, mobile band, photo and video coverage, the works. 

My real birthday wasn’t until after two weeks, but since it was December and there were a lot of bookings for Christmas parties and weddings, the only available date for our chosen venue was the first of December.  It was supposed to be a garden party but it started raining midday so the venue coordinator decided it was best to move the party to the main ballroom upstairs.

I remember visiting a nearby church that afternoon with my mom.  I remember seeing her crying, angry at the weather for ruining the original idea of having a garden party.  But as I prayed, I just offered a prayer of thanksgiving.  I thanked the Maker for, well, making me and blessing me with another birthday.  I thanked Him for the opportunity to celebrate with my family and friends.  I thanked Him for everything that I had and I think the only thing I asked for was for my friends to be able to attend.  (Oh, and I think I prayed for my accounting exam that I took the day before…)

Twenty years is a long time.  Somehow, I still remember bits and pieces of  my 18th birthday party…

  • I had no boyfriend then.
  • My escort was a cousin who was a couple of years younger.  He was more nervous than me because we had to do the waltz.
  • My sister and another cousin were the hosts of the evening.
  • My sister lost the list of names for my 18 roses dance.  She improvised.  Ended up calling the names of her friends instead of mine!! (Dear, dear sister.  I never let her host any of my events after this)
  • I have a family friend nicknamed Booey who was asked to dance by a schoolmate of mine.  With the music blaring, he couldn’t quite get her name right.  He kept calling her “Boobsy” the whooole night.  (Shame!!)
  • I had a hundred guests. I think half of those were my parents’.  Hahaha.
  • It was 1990.  The song of the night — if not the year — was… All right stop, collaborate and listen…  “Ice, Ice Baby.” 
  • Ice, Ice Baby ended the evening.

Vanilla Ice was THE man!!!

I was a happy, single, 18yr old sophomore college student then.   I was studying in a good university, I had great friends, my family was intact.   Perhaps my main and only real concern at that time was passing my Accounting exams. 

At that time I didn’t really know yet what I wanted to do in life.  I was young, naive and pretty clueless about my future.  Maybe I was a bit scared of uncertainty, but I was expectant of great things to happen.

~ * ~

Now,  20 years (and about 20 pounds) later…

I am no longer the naive girl that I once was.  Experience has taught me a lot.  I can make my own decisions and I am firm about the things that I want as well as the ones that I don’t.  I value my non-negotiables.  I now know when to shed a silent tear and when to be a drama queen.  I choose my battles… and I try to choose well.

Oftentimes I am clueless about certain things… but because I am a mom and children look up to me, I try to exude confidence and intelligence.  Moms are supposed to be all-knowing, so I dare not burst the child’s bubble. 

I still get scared of things unknown, things uncertain.  But now, I have more faith in myself. I also have more faith in Someone greater than myself.  I know I will be led.

I still continue being thankful.  Thankful that I have a family that has been ever supportive.  Thankful for my son — the very reason why I try to be the best person I can be, always.  I am thankful for not being alone.  I am thankful for my high school friends who are still my bestest friends ’til today. I am thankful for the new friendships that I have forged.  

I am thankful for this gift called life and for each and every breath that I continue to take. 

And I thank the heavens that I don’t have to take another accounting exam ever. Ever, ever…

Just as I was when I was 18, I am still expectant of greater things to come.

~ * ~

Let's parteee!!!

 

I have no plans for this year’s birthday yet.  Most likely I will spend the day wrapping Christmas gifts… then maybe have a quiet dinner with the family.  Maybe my birthday weekend will be about baseball games and Christmas parties.  I really don’t mind.  At the end of the day, it’s about spending it with the people I love.

It’s 2010.  I have no idea what this year’s best song will be… but I have a feeling I’ll be hearing Justin Bieber’s Baby over and over before the year ends…

 

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photos via google images and clipart

Tuning in to the 80’s

Music, indeed, has the magic of transporting you back in time. 

I was sitting in front of the computer this morning when I heard the radio blaring from the neighbor’s lot.  There’s an ongoing construction and it seems the workers are hard of hearing that most of the time, the radio is in full volume.  This particular morning they were playing mushy love songs from the 80’s. 

Ricky Martin rocked my world!

Before long, I found myself humming along to Menudo’s “If You’re Not Here.”  Okay, I admit, it was more fun belting out the song.  Humming doesn’t do it justice.  And as if Menudo is not enough, the next song was from Air Supply.  I didn’t sing along anymore this time, but truth be told, I do know the lyrics to the song, as well.  Shame shame shame. 

To the young ones reading this who have no idea who (or what) Menudo* is,  Menudo was a Puerto Rican boy band formed in the ’70s but achieved success and became really popular in the ’80s.  Long before the Backstreet Boys, NSync and 98 degrees, was this boy band.  This was where the ultra hot Ricky Martin started (he was still a young and cute Ricky Martin then, though I always knew he had the potential…).

Going back to the main point of this blog, music does have a way of zapping you back to another time.  Sometimes when I hear certain songs, it feels like I’m back in time… at the same place, exact same moment.  Being an 80’s girl — I was in high school during the latter part of the decade — I truly get a certain sense of ‘high’ whenever I hear 80’s music (mushy or otherwise). 

80's music rocks!!!

Allow me to share some 80’s songs that still transport me back in time and the reasons why…

1)  You to Me are Everything by the Real Thing.  “I would take the stars out of the sky for you…Stop the rain from falling if you ask me to..”    How can you not like that? 

I remember our school fair, sophomore year.  My friend and I requested this song to be played for this senior guy I really, really liked.  In secret, of course.  Senior guy saw me sitting on a bench while the song was playing, walked straight to me while singing along.  I was on cloud 9.   I was 14… and I thought I was in love.

2)  Upside Down by Two Minds Crack – One morning after a marathon telephone conversation the night before with senior guy, I woke up and heard this music playing on my radio.  The weather was cool, the day showed so much promise.  It was a moment I wouldn’t mind reliving.

3) Take On Me by A-Ha.  Loved the song. Loved the video. 

4)  Melt with You by Modern English –  My sister’s anthem. Because of the number of times that I heard her playing said song over and over and over again, of course it stuck to me.  Recently I saw again on tv the movie Valley Girl (where the song was played).  Couldn’t believe that it was Nicholas Cage who starred in said movie! 

5)  Borderline and Crazy for You.  One word: Madonna.  Along with Like a Prayer, favorite karaoke songs ever.  No shame!

6)  For Just a Moment (Love theme from St. Elmo’s Fire).  “We laugh until we had to cry and we love right down to our last goodbye…”

I remember one afternoon in a house in San Diego, my best friend/person and I were in a room and we were singing this song.  I remember one of us holding a piece of paper with the lyrics (so we can do it right).  I think I was about to leave in a few days.  We were both teenagers then.  Fast forward twenty years, we are still the best of friends.   

lookin' for the love getaway...

7)  Love Shack  by B52’s.    “I’m heading down the Atlanta highway, lookin’ for the love getaway…” 

Moment in time: Me singing and dancing to the song… while someone on the other end of the phone patiently waits — and listens.  Best guy friend I ever had.  Still holds a soft spot in my heart ’til today.  I wonder where he is now…

~ * ~

It’s nice to reminisce.  It’s nice to sing and still know the lyrics of the song.   Whenever I hear 80’s music, I remember my friends… I remember my growing up years… I remember having fun.   I think about the people I shared those moments with and I am grateful that my friends then are still my friends up to now.  Well, at least most of them.  I remember about past loves and heartaches and realize that I have outgrown them all.

We hear these songs and we remember… and we relive the moments.  We smile, laugh, we cringe, we get embarrassed.  But mostly, we feel good… and the feeling stays somewhat.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Note : *Menudo is also a traditional Mexican dish made with beef stomach in clear broth.  May also be the traditional stew from the Philippines made with sliced pork and calves’ liver (reference: wikipedia)

**Info on Menudo band from Wikipedia

***photos via google images

Finding friends in a place least likely

It is amazing that people can find friends in places least likely. 

When I started blogging, I didn’t really know what to expect.  I mean, I hoped I will get readers, and I hoped my readers will appreciate my writing — or at the very least, learn something from me.  What I didn’t expect is that there will be some kind of relationship that will be formed between me and my readers, or me and the other bloggers whose works I follow.

I often say that modern technology has made the world smaller.  I even blogged about my long distance romance in the ’90s and how the presence of emails, ym and sms could have helped the relationship survive the distance.  Now, because of all these forms of communication, it is much, much easier to meet people from other parts of the world… from various continents, even.

The thing I love about following other people’s blogs is that more than the entertainment value that some may give, or the admiration for the blogger’s writing style and skill, basically, reading about their experiences reminds me of one’s humanity. People are the same everywhere.  Regardless of race or skin color, or continents where they are at, people go through the same experiences in life.  Okay, so maybe in varying degrees.  But parents from two different places may have the same struggles concerning their kids.  We may all have the same victories and joys, too.

It is a journey.  Life is a journey. And if there’s one good thing that this so called blog world had given me, it is the feeling that no matter what personal struggle I may be going through, or I have gone through, or may go through, there are other people out there who have experienced the same… who can offer some form of learning or support.  People who will unselfishly join me in my journey.  Simply because they have been there… and they just want to reach out and help. 

Last week’s bad encounter in cyberspace with some sicko may have been very disturbing.  Yes, there are disgusting people out there — in real world and cyberworld, alike.  But there are good people, too.  I have read so many words of support given to a blog “friend” of mine from people who are practically strangers… people  she probably has never met in person.  And that is something. 

One of the highest points in my blogging experience was when a writer (a real book author) made a comment in one of my posts.  I was thrilled.  In fact, I was ecstatic. My first thought was, “Wow.  She is a real author.  And I am just a fan!  I have read about four of her books!! And she’s commenting on my blog post!!!”  It was pretty surreal. 

Then I realized that she is human, too.  Author, or not, she experiences the same emotions that I do.  In fact, she posted a comment because she was so thrilled to find out that I have been reading her books.  She is just like any ordinary human being, capable of feeling joy and excitement, as well as sadness and grief.  She reaches out to people with her works, and she reached out to me by showing gratitude and appreciation.

There still are good people.  One can find friends in places they don’t expect.  Even in cyber world…. even in blogworld.  Maybe I should say, most especially in blogworld.

☮

it's a small world after all...

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photo via weheartit.com

  

Sentimental reasons

I have had this small, orange face mirror I think since I was in high school.  It’s one of those estee lauder freebies that comes in a bag or pouch with other toiletries or sample make up.  I really love it since it’s flat and handy… can fit in whatever bag i bring.  Back in high school, i used to put it inside the pocket of my blouse (on my chest… for easy access).

My mirror and I have gone a long way.  My best friends from high school call it my prized possession.    It has seen my transformation from ugly duckling to swan.  I have shared with it all the possible facial expressions i can have.  It has seen every smile, every frown, every blemish, wrinkle, sparkle in the eyes… etc etc etc.  One can only wonder how a small inanimate object can be so much a part of one’s life…

At times, it is much, much easier to hold on to objects than people.  I can’t help but think of the friendships that I didn’t try to save — maybe because of the distance… or the time and effort needed… or simply because I didn’t care enough to salvage the relationship. 

I had an interesting chat with an old friend the other day.  We haven’t spoken to each other for quite some time. Ours is — or was — an on again-off again friendship that goes way back.  We have known each other for years, in a sense grew up knowing each other.  We had shared secrets and jokes.  We took time for each other.  But then something happened along the way, that for some time i chose to just ignore the person fully, and this old friend decided to do the same to me.  Until the other day.

Recently, something happened in OF’s (old friend) life that made OF think of me.  While OF was going through the whole thing, the only person OF can think of sharing everything — the story, the emotions, the thoughts– with was me.  But i wasn’t there.  I wasn’t around because we have been ignoring each other for the longest time.  We were both busy doing our “i don’t need you if you don’t need me” routine.

Maybe that was the time OF realized that our friendship had value… and swallowed all pride to admit so.

I was pretty stunned at first.  My first impulse was to be smug about it.  For a split second I wanted to berate OF for being stuck up and detached.  But then i realized that OF was reaching out… trying to salvage the friendship.  So, what’s the point in saying “I’m the better friend” or “It was all your fault.”  OF was extending a hand and the best I can do was take it.  No apologies, no pointing of fingers… just the peaceful feeling that comes with the knowledge that all is well. 

We chatted for several minutes more… shared a joke that we used to tell each other some 20 years back — and we laughed at it as hard as we used to.  I believe it was a nice afternoon for both of us.  I spent the rest of the day with a smile in my heart.

If i could hold on to a mirror for years and years, how can I not hold on to people, as well? 

Yes, we win some, we lose some.  But I have realized that if something is truly of value, it will find its way back to you in time…