New Year… New Beginnings… New Post

To new beginnings!

This is the first Monday of the year.  This is my first blog entry for the year. 

… and I don’t really know what to write about!

After the countless Christmas parties — and the unwanted pounds that I know I gained, given all the food– I think my system is still not ready to go back to my everyday reality.  Part of me is half-hoping there’s still a gift waiting to be bought, and yes, wrapped.  Holiday hangover, indeed.

new beginnings... new chances

I have yet to write down my goals for this year.  I haven’t sat down long enough (in a quiet place, where thinking IS possible) to come up with the things that I would want to accomplish this year.  I don’t do resolutions anymore… I never get to keep them anyway.  I think I only get to remember about my New Year’s Resolutions until February of the given year.  Beyond that, I normally come up with all the possible excuses for not keeping them. What’s the point, right? 

Besides, most of my resolutions are the same year in and year out… Lose 5 lbs (Gosh, I seriously don’t remember the last time I actually lost 5lbs!)… Go to the gym/exercise — I never go to the gym.  I loathe sweating, really…. Don’t spend unnecessarily– Do you call the weekly trip to Coffee Bean unnecessary spending?… etc etc etc.  The list goes on.  The list of things that I promise to do (or not to do), which I end up contradicting anyway.

This is what I like about the new year.  It always signifies that one CAN have a fresh start.  That no matter how bad the past year was… or how lousy you were at following the previous year’s resolutions, you have a new set of days to make things better, discard the old ways, old habits… and be the better person than you previously were. 

This year, I’ll do something different.  I will set goals… and maybe dangle a prize for myself should I get to achieve any.  Perhaps this year I will start treating the Mocha Ice Blend as a prize, more than a daily beverage (and then I wonder where those unwanted pounds came from!!)  This year, I will practice delayed gratification.  Somehow it is still nice when you have to work for something.  Achieving your goals is gratifying, but the journey– and the learnings along the way — is prize enough. 

Isn’t it wonderful that we are given a new set of days to live and experience life?

Happy new year everyone!

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photos via weheartit.com

Girlie Goal #25

i did something the other night that i have long wanted to do. 

you see, years ago, when i was so much younger, i used to make a list of the things that i would want to do or accomplish in this lifetime.  some people may call it their “bucket list.”  i call them, my “Girlie Goals.”  My girlie goals are not as far-fetched as “climbing mt. everest” or “be a buddhist monk” or something like that.  some of them are pretty simple, may be even trivial to other people.  but they are mine, and because they are “goals,” well, they give me a certain sense of purpose.

growing up and maturing somehow make us lose touch with our inner child.  my day to day schedule took over that i simply set aside that practice of  writing my girlie goals — and actually doing something about them.  in short, life became a routine.  i forgot how it was to want something and actually move mountains to get it.  i forgot about the joy that comes after having accomplished a simple, yet desired, task or dream.    in fact, i think i have long forgotten how to dream… dream about things i would want to do… dream of things i would want for myself — not of things that would make other people happy, but things that would give me a sense of fulfillment. 

i have always wanted to sing in front of a crowd… Girlie Goal # 25 : Sing solo in public… 

I am not a professional singer.  I have always liked singing, but i don’t have the training for it.  When i was young i really, REALLY wanted to take up voice lessons, but my mom who knew better — by virtue of being a mother — said i was better off learning how to play the  piano.  I took piano lessons for a good 7 or 8 years… performed at yearly recitals… and hated every moment of it.  Really.  The moment i stopped taking lessons, i stopped playing the piano altogether.

But in my heart of hearts, i knew i wanted to be able to go and sing a really beautiful song in front of people.  Not the usual I Will Survive karaoke performance that i do during family reunions.  My cousins are so tired of that already. 

Last Saturday, one of my favorite aunts celebrated her 70th birthday.  For some reason, i was bold enough to surprise every guest — all 130 of them — (myself included) by rendering a song number. A Barbra Streisand original, at that.  No one knew what i had planned.  They just thought i was there to be the emcee of the affair.  They didn’t know that i have spent the past couple of weeks rehearsing… and the past couple of hours, praying…

I may not have sounded like Barbra, but i would like to believe that i did pretty well.  Add the shocked look on my relatives’ faces as i sang the first words and the proud look on their faces after i finished the song, the whole experience was simply awesome.

It was then that i realized that i just accomplished a girlie goal.  And it all came back to me… why i used to list them down.  It is because of moments like last saturday night.  It is because of that euphoric feeling that you get after doing something you thought you can never do.  It is about going out of your comfort zone… about pushing yourself another step.

My girlie goals are all about me.  Sometimes, it has to be all about ME…

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next post: Girlie Goals Revisited.  Watch out for it!!