…and I’m BACK!!!

It’s 2015.

Hello again, blogworld.  Wow. It’s been so long.

On my last blog post here, I remember saying goodbye and telling my readers that I will be starting a new blog where I would be blogging under my real name… no secret identity, no code names…

I thought I was ready to blog about anything and everything.  I thought it was easy to mention real names of real people I wanted to blog about.  Boy, was I wrong.  Basically I found out that my friends were not exactly too keen on being mentioned in my blogs — not unless I was all praises all the time.  Also, during those times when all I wanted was to vent, it proved quite difficult blogging when I had to censor my thoughts.  An entry full of bleeps or *** won’t really amount to anything.

And so, eventually, I got tired of blogging about bleeps.  And I just let time pass.  And I basically didn’t write anything — not one blog, not one article, not a single write up — for almost a year.  I stopped writing.  I feel like I stopped being a writer.

Judging by the way I began three sentences with the word “and,” I guess you know what I mean.

I missed it, really.  Writing, I mean.  Although I had a lot of other things to keep me busy, there were times when I just wanted to stay in a quiet place and just write.  Write about anything.  But then I’d realize that I had nothing to write for — and so I’ll just decide to do something else… Like watch tv… Yeah, how productive. My brain cells were working overtime

Over the Christmas holidays, I found myself checking out this old blogsite of mine.  I reread some posts… I laughed at most, smirked at some… and I relived a number of nice moments that I wrote about.  I truly felt bad when I saw that a lot of the pictures I reposted have been removed or are now nowhere to be found. Sigh.

I have always, ALWAYS liked this blogsite.  Who wouldn’t relish being a Supergoddess, hello?! And so I have resolved to revive this site.

Oh, yes.  I am back.  I still have a lot to tell… stories to share… people to talk about… Kidding on the last one, of course.

Maybe I will have more followers now… maybe not.  I guess what matters is that I get to write and share my thoughts and my wisdom.

And maybe, just maybe, I will at the very least make one reader smile… I believe that’s enough for now.

Care to join the journey of the Supergoddess?

fireworks

Happy 2015!!

 

*****

PS… I promise to fix the other photos on the older posts. Just give me time. 🙂

SGM

*****

photo via google images

 

Let’s Get Mushy!

all you need is love...

Several days from today, the world will be celebrating Valentine’s day. 

Okay, so maybe not everybody celebrates it.  There are the Valentine’s Scrooges (guilty!) who think that said day was just made popular for commercial purposes — that is, to sell more chocolates, flowers, greeting cards and stuffed toys, as well as restaurants, concerts, motels and hotels.  There are those who don’t celebrate simply because they have no one to spend the day with.  And then there are those who are in far-flung places who have more important things to do than put a day on hold to go all gooey and mushy towards their mates… 

But for the lovers, the romantics, the daydreamers, and even the neurotics, February 14 is one special day. 

I know I will be insanely busy next week so I am posting my Valentine’s blog days in advance.

This is for all my cyber-cum-blog-friends… My thoughts are with you on Valentine’s day!

~ * ~

I love Love Songs

My All-Time Favorite Love Songs… and the reasons why:

1)  It Might Be You by Stephen Bishop.  “I’ve been saving love songs and lullabies. And there’s so much more, no one’s ever had before. Something’s telling me it might be you… Yeah it’s telling me it must be you… And I’m feeling it will just be you, all of my life.”

2) Sometime When We Touch by Dan Hill.  “I wanna hold you ’til I die…’Til we both break down and cry… I wanna hold you ’til the fear in me subsides…”

3)  Got to Believe in Magic by David Pomeranz.  “Got to believe in magic… tell me how two people find each other, in a world that’s full of strangers…”

4)  Maybe This Time by Michael Murphy.  “Maybe this time, it’ll be lovin’ they’ll find… Maybe now they can be more than just friends.  She’s back in his life and it feels so right… maybe this time, love won’t end…”

5)  All I Need by Jack Wagner.  “No stars are out tonight but we’re shining our own light, and it’s never felt so right…”

6)  Simply Jesse by Rex Smith.  “And I don’t know what you see, what you see in me… Girl it’s nothing to what I see in you…”

7)  Upside Down by Two Minds Crack. “You’re turning me on, you turn me around, you turn my whole world upside down…”

8)  Swept Away by Christopher Cross.  “I’m swept away. No one in the world but you and I, gotta find a way to make you feel the way that I do… I was swept away, without a warning like night when the morning begins the day… I was swept away.”

9)  My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.  “Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we’re gone…”

10)  Arms of Orion by Prince and Sheena E.  “Orion’s arms are wide enough to hold us both together, although we’re worlds apart, I’ll cross the stars for you…”

11) Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson.  “Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, you ought to know by now how much I love you… The world may change my whole life through but nothing’s gonna change my love for you…”

12) Moon River by Andy Williams.  “Two drifters off to see the world, there’s such a lot of world to see…”

12)  The Way You Look Tonight*  “Some day when I’m awfully low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you… and the way you look tonight…”

13)  All the Way by Frank Sinatra.  “Who knows where the road will lead us, only a fool would say. But if you let me love you, it’s for sure I’m gonna love you all the way… all the way…”

~ * ~

I love LOVE 🙂

So there. Pure, absolute mush.  *Sigh*  *Swoon*  *Googly eyes*

Hope you enjoyed the sing-along. *happy sigh*

Happy Valentine’s everyone! 

*** *** *** *** *** ***

*did you know that the song The Way You Look Tonight was originally sung by Fred Astaire to Ginger Rogers in the film Swing Time?  It even won Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1936.  Bet you didn’t know that bit of trivia.  I didn’t, too. I always thought it was a Frank Sinatra original.  Thank you Wikipedia!! 🙂

photos via weheartit.com

And then there was… baseball

from dusk 'til dawn

It was another baseball weekend.

Two full days of tournament.  On Saturday my son’s team played two games, on Sunday they played three.  Since they kept playing, it also meant that they kept winning (losing two games means the team should start packing ‘coz they’re going home).  They could have reached and won the championship game if only the last two teams they played against were not that good.  But well, all the teams played to win.  Our team came in third.  Not bad for a new team.

To say that it was an exhausting weekend would be an understatement.   The long day, the heat, the waiting in between games truly sucked the energy out of me.  At some point during the day, I was already starting to imagine what my alternate self in my alternate universe would have been doing on that weekend.  Probably Christmas shopping.  Alternate SGM was joyously strolling at the airconditioned mall, shopping for Christmas gifts, looking so pristine while sipping her favorite iced mocha.   The real ME on the other hand, spent the two days under the sun and the heat and the occasional drizzle.  With sand and soil on my shoes and my pants.  I was the perfect poster girl for the Sahara desert. 

When we got back home Sunday evening, I was just so tired.  Dead tired. 

~ * ~

happiness in a glove

Enough of the whining, though, because I know that despite the heat and the exhaustion, it was a good weekend for all of us baseball parents who were there to watch and cheer for our boys.  We had food, we had drinks.   And do you know of people who are very gifted at entertaining others?  Well, we had those, too.  Ergo, we had laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. 

It is really nice when parents get together for a certain goal. Ours was to extend whatever support our kids needed… not only to win the games, but for them to learn from the actual experience, as well.  So whether they win or lose, our prayer was that they take something valuable home with them. 

It is not always just about the skills that the child develops when he does sports.  It is also about the values that he learns.  The life lessons that he will bring with him as he gets older.  It is also about the memories that these children build individually and even as a team.

And to be part of those memory-building moments… isn’t that what parenting is about?

*** *** *** *** ***

next blog:  Parenting from the Other Side… (The kind of parent you wouldn’t want to be). Watch out for it.  I still have to collect my thoughts. As I said, I was dead tired over the weekend, I haven’t really recovered yet.

photo via weheartit.com

 

Judge and be judged

the imperfect storm

Mom: I am thinking of setting up a business for your brother and you.

Daughter:  What’s that got to do with me?

Mom: Because if you don’t help him out, I will really make you take up law. 

Daughter: (looking totally clueless) Huh?

Mom:  You should be a lawyer.  I want you to be a judge someday.  You will be happy if you are a judge.  You shouldn’t waste your intelligence… 

Daughter:  Who said I’m not happy?!  (Big sigh)

Sounds like a storm is brewing.

~*~

Initially, one would see nothing wrong with the above conversation. 

I suppose it is but normal for parents to tell their children what they want their children to become…  what path they suggest their children to take.  Out of love and concern for our kids, we parents, most often than not try to persuade them to choose a certain direction.  Of course our choices are based on our own personal experiences, as well.  We teach based on what we know.  We try to influence our children based on how we lived life and we think that what made us succeed will do the same for them.  We just want them to be successful and to be happy.

Nothing is wrong with offering suggestions.  Nothing is wrong with telling your child you dream of him or her to be this or that someday…

Not unless you are talking to a 35+ yr old. A mother of an 11yr old, with her own family unit– her own household– and a dog, to boot.    Someone who has been independent and has been taking care of her family, as well as other people’s family, for the past decade. 

You simply cannot tell that person, even if she were your own child, that you know what will make her happy. 

Because you don’t.   

~ * ~ 

I have mentioned several blogs back (see Highlight of My Day) about how I decided to veer away from the corporate life and chose to be a domestic goddess.  I believe I also mentioned that I came from a career-oriented family.  I knew that a lot of people didn’t understand why I made such choice. I knew a lot of them questioned why I chose being a full-time-rah-rah-mom over working for some company that would give me a nice title before my name.   

I didn’t mind, really.  I believed that having a peaceful family life, with a happy, loving — not to mention, very intelligent– child was more than enough to make me feel successful.  I derive my self-fulfillment from having the chance to make memories with my son.  I never really craved for any other title.  It’s not something that I miss having because I am happy where I am.  Like what I always say, to each his own.

But then hearing my mom telling me a few days ago that being a lawyer or a judge would make me “happy” really almost made me blow my top.  At that moment, the only thing I could think of was how little she thought of me… and how little she knew of me

It was pretty sad, really.  Sad not because what she said made me feel small about myself, but more because I don’t think she truly understands the happiness I get out of being a mother.  Obviously, she gets her sense of happiness elsewhere… while I derive joy from being with the people I love, doing things with and for them, sharing moments with them.

~ * ~

My mom has always been career-oriented. We never faulted her for that.  My siblings and I grew up under the care of a nanny who stayed with us until she was 85.  When our nanny passed away last year, my sister and I (being the two older ones) really felt like we lost a big part of us, as well.    My mom never understood why we cried so much.

Now in her 60’s, my mom is still happily working… proud to keep her title of being an attorney, and every other title possible, depending on her position.  Because of her present position, she got assigned in a faraway place, gets to come home only once or twice a month.  She is still happy, though.  She has reached the pinnacle of her career… 

Our weekends are spent with lunches, dinners or coffee dates with my dad, my sister and her family and my brother.  Without our mom, though, because she’s somewhere else.  We share moments here as a family, while she’s out there somewhere, socializing with the lawyers and judges like herself.  And oh yeah, she’s working, too.

She doesn’t realize that while she’s out there happily being a Somebody, I am back here taking care of her household.   I run their errands, manage their househelp, do their groceries.  My sister and I take turns staying with or inviting our dad over when he needs company.  When my brother went through some rough spot, I was there to give him whatever guidance or support he needed. 

So, maybe I don’t have a title other than “mom.”  I don’t introduce myself as Atty. So and so or Dr. Something something.  Not even Supermodel Someone.  I also see no reason to introduce myself as Writer Me when I meet with my son’s teachers or my other co-parents.  I simply see no point nor reason to.  But being ‘untitled’ doesn’t mean I am less busy, nor does it make my life less significant.

Maybe she is happy being what and where she is.  But that doesn’t mean that I am NOT happy being who or what I am.

~ * ~

What really brings you joy? Think about it.

SGM : We all have different sources of happiness.  I am happy with my family.  I am happy that I get to write.  I am happy with my life… Besides, i don’t want to be a judge. To me, it’s just a title.  

And that was how the storm ended. 

*** *** *** *** *** *** ***

photos via google images 

 

Highlight of My Day

Nothing beats an interesting afternoon chat

I met up for lunch with a couple of my mommy friends yesterday.  I have known these women for several years now.  Our sons’ ages range from ten to twelve, they go to the same school and they are in the same baseball team.  Another commonality that the three of us have is that we are all full-time moms.  Having no daily job or an office to go to, the highlight of most of our days is basically picking up our sons from school and bringing them to baseball practice.  That, and of course, occasional lunch or coffee dates with friends.

As we were having our dessert, I asked them this question: “Have you ever thought of doing something else, like pursuing a career or having your own business at this point in your lives?  Or…” and I paused to add some drama, “… are you content with this?” And I moved my hands about to point at our table, our dessert, our coffee… basically I was talking about what we were doing at the moment.  We were having lunch… with all the time in our hands.

~ * ~ * ~

I came from a career oriented family.  My lawyer mom took pride in being a working mother.  She almost had a breakdown when she found out I decided to be a full-time mom.  She didn’t have to tell me, but I knew that she couldn’t understand why I chose to be a full-time mom over having a career… a position in an office somewhere… a title that goes before my name.  Double the breakdown when she learned that my lawyer sister decided to stop practicing law so she can have more time with her kids.  My sister set up her own business, so my mom forgave her somewhat, but she still couldn’t understand why my sister chose to give up her title of being an attorney. 

My mom believes that a person can be career oriented and still be a parent (though I don’t remember her spending much time with us when we were very young) .  She also believes that our relationship (mine and hers) is the same as my relationship with my son.  She thinks we are just as close.  She is either in a total state of denial… or is utterly clueless. 

As my sister often says, my mom seems to live in a totally different plane.

~ * ~

Years ago, when my son was still very young, I couldn’t quite get rid of the hang ups of being a non-working mom.  I guess it didn’t help that my sister gets to be introduced as “the lawyer” while I get the title, “the other daughter.”  There were times when I can’t help but ask myself if I needed a title too, in order to gain more respect.  Will the world respect me more if I have a title before my name?

I have long come to terms with myself on what would give me self-fulfilment and contentment.

~ * ~

Yesterday when I posed the question to my friends, one of them replied, “I am happy where I am.”  And then she added this, “Life is short.  Why should I concern myself about trying to find a job just to prove somethingI love that I get to spend time with my kids.  I love that we can do this.  Why should I add more stress when I can enjoy what I have?”  And she proceeded to tell us about the flights she just booked for her and her family for the upcoming school break.

I believed what she said made perfect sense. 

~ * ~

I don’t have anything against working mothers.  In fact, I admire the mothers who have their careers or their own business and still have time for their kids.  And I mean quality time. And there are working mothers who, given the chance, would rather stay home with the kids (or have leisure coffee dates with friends on a Monday).  I feel for them, too.

Different strokes for different folks.  But to me, more than anything, it’s about the time that you spend with your kids, whether you work or not.

~ * ~

a beautiful world

one Monday afternoon

It was my personal choice to be a full-time, hands on, supermom.  Not that I have to justify it, but I feel one can never have enough time with one’s kids.  I mean, they grow up so fast.  Surely you would want to be there to see them grow, and to experience life with them while they still want you around

When I picked up my son from school yesterday afternoon, I can’t help but smile as I listened to him talk about the highlight of his day.  Being there in the car with him, listening to his stories, enjoying a peaceful, stress free afternoon, I couldn’t help but realize that THAT moment was the highlight of MY day.  I couldn’t ask for more.

So despite the fact that I am seemingly untitled, I know I am happy where I am.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

photo via weheartit.com

As promised…

It has been a semi-frustrating blog week…

Semi-frustrating because  1) my internet connection has been acting up since saturday evening (see Limited Connectivity entry), and 2) my chance and definitely unintentional brush with icky porn the other day (see Blogging etiquette post). 

Sometimes the universe just throws things at you that you are not prepared for.  Good that I had topics to write about, but it can be pretty exhausting to be angry — or frustrated. 

Today I am keeping my cool.  For along with the frustrating times come moments, too, that warm our hearts. 

Here is something that is light and easy…

Tumblr

This morning as I dropped off my son in school, I lingered a little longer and from the back seat of my car I watched as he walked to the school gate, then enter the school premises, and eventually disappeared going up the stairs to his classroom.  Somehow I couldn’t dismiss that tug in my chest as I watched him walk away.                                           

I remember the first time my son entered big school.  He was only 5 then. He wasn’t the clingy “Mom, please don’t leave me!!!” nor the whiny “I don’t want to go to school!!!” type.  Nor was he the one who cries silent tears — tears that will surely melt a mom’s heart and make her want to whisk her child away (like school was a bad place or something!).  No, my son held his own… He made me bring him to his classroom, he let me leave guiltlessly when it was time to leave, yet made me promise to be there at dismissal time.  And I was there as promised.

He is in 5th grade now.   I still drop him off  in the morning… but by now I am just allowed to either stay in the car or bring him to the gate (“Mom, that is so not cool!!”).  Watching him this morning, I can’t help but ask myself until when do I intend to do this?  I mean, at some point I will have to learn to let go, right?

Letting go is not easy.  Sometimes we wish we can forever hold our children in our hands so they are always protected.  But we also know that by letting them go, we let them learn… we let them experience life… and we let them grow.  Because if we hold on too tight, we will stifle their growth.  There are things that they simply have to learn on their own.

But we know that whatever happens, we will be there to catch them should they fall. Perhaps what is important is that they have the knowledge and the security that whatever happens, when they need us, we will be there to pick them up…

Every dismissal.  As promised.   

**** **** ***** **** **** **** **** ****

photo via weheartit.com

Oh happy day…

So many reasons to be happy

ColdHands

First day of a new month.  My site reached 800 hits.  I was able to chat with two of my best friendsI look amazingly pretty today.  I saw George Clooney on tv this morning.  I still fit in my old jeans21 days ’til Glee. I am in the mood to write.  I finished something I had to finish on time.  I made someone happyNever ending supply of coffee.    Saw my favorite boy Marco yesterday and the thought still makes me smile.  Listening to not-so-old songs that bring back loads of memories. Thoughts of Christmas.  Thoughts of Christmas shopping

The knowledge that yesterday may have been bad, but it’s over and done with. And now I have today.

Today I smile.

 

*** *** *** *** *** ***

photo credit: weheartit.com

walking on sunshine

Been smiling a lot lately. 

Sometimes i walk in the mall and i hear the song “Walking on sunshine” playing over and over inside me head.  Makes me want to skip… which would make me look pretty silly, so i just continue smiling from ear to ear instead.

I guess this is how it is when you’re at peace with the world.  When you don’t depend on other people to make you happy… when you appreciate the things around you… when you don’t expect too much from others.  Somehow, every small thing that you receive — whether attention or affection, is enough to put a smile on your face.  Maybe it’s the joy that emanates from within, not the happiness that you derive from other people, that really matters after all.

Sometimes i get scared, too.  The silly, negative side of me keeps whispering that one cannot stay happy for too long.  That soon, my bubble will burst, and my la la land existence will dissipate.  Talk about being negative.

But no, i will stay the course.  I shall shun all the negative stuff, all the things that keep pulling me down.  It is not wrong — nor bad– to be happy… to have joy.  So i shall savor this feeling.

I’m walking on sunshine… and it feels so darned good.