Sweet Sixteen

the girl, the guy and the geek

One of my favorite movies when I was young was Sixteen Candles. 

It was a sweet high school love story about a shy and awkward sophomore girl (played by Molly Ringwald) who was secretly in love with a popular senior guy (who was played by this hottie whose name escapes me at the moment).  To complete the triangle was a geeky freshman (Anthony Michael Hall) who in turn had the hots for Molly Ringwald’s character. 

Molly Ringwald’s character had to struggle getting through the day of her 16th birthday, after everybody in her whole family forgot about it because they were all busy preparing for her big sister’s wedding the following day.  This plus the fact that she is secretly madly in love with a senior guy who she knew was “way up there” — popular, dates the prom queen kind of guy —  and someone who doesn’t know that she exists.  As an aside:  I still remember the guy’s name in the movie… Jake Ryan… it stuck to me somewhat.  But for the life of me, I cannot remember the actor’s name.

Yes, Sixteen Candles depicts what high school life is about.  Shy, awkward girls… popular and attractive guys… prom queens… geeks and nerds… it’s about wanting to be noticed… the dream of belonging to the ‘popular’ group… the fantasy of dating the cutest jock… the fear of coming out of one’s shell because other people may not be too accepting… the experience of being madly in love — and thinking that young love means forever after…

When you are young, everything seems promising.  Scary, but promising. 

I honestly wouldn’t mind being 16 again.

~ * ~

do you remember?

I had my first “boyfriend” several months before I turned sixteen.  The quotation marks are intentional (picture me doing the sign with my fingers as I say the word boyfriend).  It was a shortlived thingy, not even worthy enough to be called a relationship.  There were other guys that I really liked more before him, but this guy called me his “girlfriend” so I guess that was how he became my “boyfriend.”  (Give me a break, I was only 15 then!)

I think I liked this guy because I found him cute.  Eventually I realized that cuteness doesn’t make a relationship.  We had nothing in common, basically had nothing to talk about, plus I was afraid that my parents will find out (and ground me ’til I’m thirty), so after three weeks of being cute together, we broke up.  After that so-called relationship, I realized that I wasn’t really ready to have a boyfriend.  Or at least, if I would have one, it would be someone I truly felt something for. 

And so I celebrated my 16th birthday being boyfriend free. 

We had our high school Christmas dance about a week after my birthday.  Met this other guy at the dance.  We were both seniors, but I never really talked to him before that night.  He was a jock, seemed pretty reserved, not exactly too friendly.  He stepped on my toes while we were dancing with other people (believe me, it happens!)… and that was the first time I noticed him.  We exchanged smiles after that.

We started hanging out the moment we got back from the Christmas break.  Eventually we got to know each other better.  I never called him my boyfriend, but both my friends and his friends knew we were a pair.    I didn’t see anyone else while we were going out.  Ours was pretty exclusive for another non-relationship. 

Do you remember how the days seem to be long and the weeks and months are endless while you’re in high school?  It seemed like I spent a good deal of time with Guy #2.  And then graduation came, then summer vacation… then we were off to college.  Once again I realized that I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship.  I knew that things will not be the same once we’re in different universities.  So I did what I had to do. 

I ended it.  I told the guy I didn’t want to get too serious.  I wanted to see other people.  I thought I was being noble by being honest with my feelings.  Didn’t realize, though, that I was breaking up with him right around the same time he was going to celebrate his birthday…

Okay, so I was the ex-non-girlfriend from hell.  I don’t think I ever redeemed myself in the eyes of that guy.

~ * ~

I saw both guys last year when our batch had the 20th yr. homecoming. 

Guy #1 chatted with me for a very long time.  I never saw someone still so thrilled to see me, even after all these years.  At some point he had to grab another person to take our picture so we will finally have a picture together.  I think I ended up having a gazillion pictures with Guy#1 that night — taken by different people, using different cameras.  He just wouldn’t let up.  He was so excited he almost looked 16 again.

Guy#2 saw me… then ignored me.  I didn’t know whether to say hi or to apologize for what happened twenty years ago.  Honestly, I didn’t know if there was something to apologize for.  And so I also ended up ignoring him, as well.  We pretty much ignored each other the whole night. 

Maybe I am making too much of a big deal out of something that had happened two decades ago.  I mean, surely he shouldn’t be holding a grudge until now.  It’s not like I wanted to hurt him on purpose.  He married another schoolmate of ours a couple of years into college, they now have two grown kids…   surely he should have already forgotten about what I did.  Maybe, maybe not.

What I realized that night was that we all create impressions on people.  Some are good, some are bad.  It all depends on how we treat people at a point in time.  Believe me, it feels much better knowing that the thought or the memory you leave imprinted in their minds is something you can be proud of and not be sorry about. 

~  *  ~

At the end of Sixteen Candles, popular guy Jake waited for Molly Ringwald’s character to come out of the church after her sister’s wedding.  And then they celebrated her 16th birthday… freeze to the last frame where they were sitting on top of a table with a cake with sixteen candles all lit up, about to have their first kiss. Sweet!>  The sixteen year old in me still gushes whenever I picture that scene in my head.

fairy tale ending

Well, I think that’s what young  love is all about.  You get the guy, you lose the guy… sometimes you let go of the guy, other times, he lets go of you.  Yet unlike in the movies where you can freeze the frame for a very long time (until your player conks out), in real life, you move on… whether with the same person or not. 

But what’s good is that at 16, whether you love or you lose, one thing is certain… you have your whole life ahead of you to enjoy the good and still have the chance to make the wrong things right.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Note:  The actor who played the role Jake Ryan was Michael Schoeffling. (Thank you wikipedia!)

photos via google image

My Guilty Pleasure

I am not a TV person.  I rarely get the chance to sit in front of the TV for a long time, without distractions.  I used to have favorite shows… those which I really wait for every week. But then because of busy schedules, and because I’d rather do everything early so I can sleep early, there’s just no time for TV anymore.

 … Or so I say.  Okay, I’ll be honest.  For the past several weeks, during the day – sometimes even at night– I try to catch Glee. Yes, they are mostly reruns.  But whether I have watched the episode or not, I still take that one hour off just to watch. 

Watching Glee is like being transported back in time.  For one whole hour, I feel like I’m back in high school. 

Some things never really change.  There’s always the handsome jocks, the pretty and popular cheerleaders, the nerds, the misfits, the non-entities.  There’s that one teacher everybody adores, there’s that one teacher that everybody hates… okay, sometimes two, even three…  There are the performers, the drama queens, the bad boys (and girls). And then there are the normal people.  

Looking back at my high school days, I don’t really know where I would place myself.  Oh, I was a smart girl – that much I’m sure of.  I was grade conscious and I have always been a diligent student.  I know I wasn’t bad looking.  I was pretty vain, so everybody must have thought I was a stuck up.  But then I also knew that there were a LOT of more popular girls – not to mention with more developed bodies – that made me insecure when I was at that age.  There were those girls who effortlessly get the boys they liked.  There were those girls who get voted as muse year in and year out.  And did I say they effortlessly get the boys?

My friends never believe me when i say that i had a lot of insecurities in high school.  For some reason they think i was as confident as that girl with the long straight hair and the coca-cola bottle body… the one who got most of my crushes with just a snap of her fingers. I guess it’s true that your worst critic is yourself.  It is true that no one can make you feel small unless you permit them.  When i think about it, i did let a number of girls make me feel insecure… mainly because they were more popular and well, they easily got the boys. 

If there’s something I wish I learned early on in life, it is not to let the boys – or men—define you.  Back in high school, I felt bad whenever someone i liked didn’t like me back. Well, tough luck.  There were guys who liked me back then whom I never even attempted to talk to or be nice to (and they are probably multi-millionaires by now and don’t even remember my name). That’s just the way it is.

Several months back, I attended our high school reunion.  I saw people – classmates and non-classmates – whom i haven’t seen in ages.  Some, i don’t really remember.  But there were others who stood out.  Of course, there were my dearest, bestest friends… the ones i spent my whole teenage years with and who are still my friends ‘til today.  I got to talk to this guy i dated back in high school – and the whole time we were talking, i was asking myself WHY i ever dated him.  I also got to talk to this other guy – and the whole time we were talking, i was asking myself why I NEVER dated him.  And then there were people i talked to whom I know i never talked to in high school… but are really nice people, after all. 

Yes, high school was fun. The friendships i forged in high school are the ones that lasted long because we saw each other through our awkward stages.  My friends knew me and liked me then, even when i was still the ugly duckling that i felt i was.  Come to think of it, we were all ugly ducklings then, in one way or another. 

I like watching Glee because for a moment I get to remember how things were when I was growing up.  Along with the remembering comes the wondering as well… of all the what ifs and what could haves.  But then a couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine, being the grinch that he is, said that at a certain point, we have to stop looking back at the past because it’s over and done with.  Somehow it made me realize that yes, I’m all grown up, and as much fun as high school was, i am at the here and now.  And i like where I am. I like what I have become. (Do i dare say that I like the goddess that I have become?)

So why is Glee my guilty pleasure?  Okay, so now I confess…. I only watch the show because i think that guy who plays Finn is such a hottie… 🙂