Sleepless but happy

Couldn't. Sleep.

Couldn’t. Sleep.

Something happened yesterday that had a direct effect on my sleeping habits…

Unexpected effect: Sleepless night.  Possible cause: Blogging.

Here’s why… You see, several hours after I posted my blog, my email started receiving notifications saying either someone has liked my post or someone started following me.  After the second or the third notification, I realized that people actually read what I wrote! Oh yey! — I no longer had to think that maybe I was just talking to myself or to the air (cyber air?!) the whole time… 

It felt good, really, knowing that someone’s interested enough… And so, I spent most part of the night peeking at either my email inbox or my WordPress notification to find out if there was another “like” or “follower.”  I was like a child on a Christmas morning.  Excited and expectant.

Then WordPress made me giddier by posting this: January 7 – Your best day for likes on “Supergoddess Me.”  Never mind if the number of likes isn’t even more than 20… Come to think of it, I’m not even sure if it’s more than 10… Yet, I’m still thankful.  So thankful I wanted to dance for joy the whole night.

My mind was so active, I started thinking of topics to write about, stories to share next.  It was already almost midnight and I was still so excited… and I was also so awake.

This is the effect blogging has on me… Though it’s also possible that the Mocha Ice Blended drink that I bought in the afternoon played a part…

*****

When it’s almost midnight and you couldn’t sleep, sometimes you turn to your television for support and companionship. You try to find either something worthwhile that will make you feel glad you stayed awake… or something utterly boring that will lull you to sleep.

Last night, I found Criminal Minds. Fortunately the episode wasn’t a rerun. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop watching.

Criminal Minds

Hotchner. Morgan. *drool*

I remember mentioning in my blog years back how much I loved the show.  Between Hotchner and Morgan, gawd, what’s not to love?! I simply ADORE Shemar Moore (Derek Morgan).  Every time Criminal Minds is on air, I somehow get glued… regardless of how gory the episode may be.

So instead of falling asleep, I found myself at midnight wide awake, intently watching Criminal Minds, eventually getting creeped out… ended up praying that I won’t have bad dreams when I finally do fall asleep.

Not good.

But because of Derek Morgan, it wasn’t exactly that bad, either.

****

Around six hours later…

It’s a brand new day.  I think I slept well, considering… and I woke up reenergized.  First thing I did when I woke up was to check my notification. Haha, talk about the need for affirmation.

Before I delve into my insecurities and start babbling, let me thank you for taking time yesterday — and today — to read what I had to say.  Thank you for “following” the site.  I hope I don’t disappoint. Maybe sometimes, I will — especially during the times when I am not exactly writing something deep or profound… (like now?!). But thank you just the same.

It feels good knowing that my words reach someone. Hopefully I get to entertain or inspire.  I hope you stick around. DO stick around.

Regardless of how old we get, there will always be that child in us waiting for that moment of thrill and pure joy.

Writing brings me pure joy.  I am happy when I get to put my thoughts into words. And I am happier when people appreciate those words.

It’s Christmas morning all over again.

SGM

*****

photo credits: wide-eyed smiley via iemoji ; Criminal Minds via google images

Life Matters

peace and quiet

At just about the same time that I was writing my blog last Friday, something tragic was happening in Japan.

As I was musing about the universe telling me something by way of a sudden increase in my blog hits, somewhere out there, nature was making its power felt thru a strong earthquake and a devastating tsunami.

My sign was just a mere whisper.  For the people affected by the earthquake and the tsunami, the universe practically sent them a scream. 

There may be no connection between me and them.  Or there is a great connection between all of us, because we are all living in one planet… our lives, one way or the other, interwoven. 

As I watched the news about the calamity that befell Japan, I can’t help but be ashamed of the little things that I let myself get bothered by.  Somehow, my concerns seemed trivial, even shallow, compared to the plight of the ones affected by the calamity.   

The tsunami that hit Japan showed how everything is fleeting.  In a split second, one can lose everything that he has.  It also made me realize that one can never be too ready.  Having too much money, or a big house, or whatever material stuff you can think of, cannot protect you from whatever the universe throws your way. 

A lot of things we deem important all of a sudden seemed to lose their relevance.

Fragile and Precious

Life is fragile.  It can be taken away from you with or without warning.  That’s why your every single breathing moment should count. (And yes, it’s not about counting blog hits.) 

Life is precious.  Each of us has only one life to live.  Perhaps the best thing to do is to live it well. 

What does living well mean?  Maybe it’s by choosing to be happy.  It’s by choosing to make other people happy.  It’s about lending a hand to others less fortunate… putting a smile on someone else’s face… or even by just smiling at other people.

Maybe it’s about sharing.  It’s by blessing others with what you, yourself, are blessed with.  It may be by sharing what you no longer need to those who need it more… or sharing your talent for others to learn from… or maybe even sharing your time with those people who really just need someone who will listen or stay with them. 

Sometimes we get  too wrapped up in ourselves that we worry and we get stressed and anxious about the littlest things.  Our world seems to get so small… basically because our world revolves around ourselves.

Look outside.  There’s a big world around you.  Other people share your troubles.  There are other people who have greater troubles even. 

Maybe if we know what it means to be thankful… REALLY thankful… for the things that we have, then life won’t be such a struggle. 

contentment

Yes, I believe in striving hard to get better.  I believe in expecting greatness.  We all deserve that.  Yet I also believe in contentment.  Contentment doesn’t mean limiting yourself or setting your standards low.  To me it’s about being at peace with what you have and not putting emphasis on just the material things.  It’s about being grateful for what you have at present. 

It is about finding joy in what you have, what you are doing and where you are.  In the end, that’s all that really matters, right? 

“I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet.” 

– Indian proverb

 

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photos via weheartit.com

Author’s note: Welcome back, my pretty pink background! 🙂

Let’s Get Mushy!

all you need is love...

Several days from today, the world will be celebrating Valentine’s day. 

Okay, so maybe not everybody celebrates it.  There are the Valentine’s Scrooges (guilty!) who think that said day was just made popular for commercial purposes — that is, to sell more chocolates, flowers, greeting cards and stuffed toys, as well as restaurants, concerts, motels and hotels.  There are those who don’t celebrate simply because they have no one to spend the day with.  And then there are those who are in far-flung places who have more important things to do than put a day on hold to go all gooey and mushy towards their mates… 

But for the lovers, the romantics, the daydreamers, and even the neurotics, February 14 is one special day. 

I know I will be insanely busy next week so I am posting my Valentine’s blog days in advance.

This is for all my cyber-cum-blog-friends… My thoughts are with you on Valentine’s day!

~ * ~

I love Love Songs

My All-Time Favorite Love Songs… and the reasons why:

1)  It Might Be You by Stephen Bishop.  “I’ve been saving love songs and lullabies. And there’s so much more, no one’s ever had before. Something’s telling me it might be you… Yeah it’s telling me it must be you… And I’m feeling it will just be you, all of my life.”

2) Sometime When We Touch by Dan Hill.  “I wanna hold you ’til I die…’Til we both break down and cry… I wanna hold you ’til the fear in me subsides…”

3)  Got to Believe in Magic by David Pomeranz.  “Got to believe in magic… tell me how two people find each other, in a world that’s full of strangers…”

4)  Maybe This Time by Michael Murphy.  “Maybe this time, it’ll be lovin’ they’ll find… Maybe now they can be more than just friends.  She’s back in his life and it feels so right… maybe this time, love won’t end…”

5)  All I Need by Jack Wagner.  “No stars are out tonight but we’re shining our own light, and it’s never felt so right…”

6)  Simply Jesse by Rex Smith.  “And I don’t know what you see, what you see in me… Girl it’s nothing to what I see in you…”

7)  Upside Down by Two Minds Crack. “You’re turning me on, you turn me around, you turn my whole world upside down…”

8)  Swept Away by Christopher Cross.  “I’m swept away. No one in the world but you and I, gotta find a way to make you feel the way that I do… I was swept away, without a warning like night when the morning begins the day… I was swept away.”

9)  My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion.  “Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we’re gone…”

10)  Arms of Orion by Prince and Sheena E.  “Orion’s arms are wide enough to hold us both together, although we’re worlds apart, I’ll cross the stars for you…”

11) Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You by George Benson.  “Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, you ought to know by now how much I love you… The world may change my whole life through but nothing’s gonna change my love for you…”

12) Moon River by Andy Williams.  “Two drifters off to see the world, there’s such a lot of world to see…”

12)  The Way You Look Tonight*  “Some day when I’m awfully low, when the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you… and the way you look tonight…”

13)  All the Way by Frank Sinatra.  “Who knows where the road will lead us, only a fool would say. But if you let me love you, it’s for sure I’m gonna love you all the way… all the way…”

~ * ~

I love LOVE 🙂

So there. Pure, absolute mush.  *Sigh*  *Swoon*  *Googly eyes*

Hope you enjoyed the sing-along. *happy sigh*

Happy Valentine’s everyone! 

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*did you know that the song The Way You Look Tonight was originally sung by Fred Astaire to Ginger Rogers in the film Swing Time?  It even won Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1936.  Bet you didn’t know that bit of trivia.  I didn’t, too. I always thought it was a Frank Sinatra original.  Thank you Wikipedia!! 🙂

photos via weheartit.com

Highlight of My Year

The year 2010 seemed to have just breezed by. 

I don’t know why but as we get older, the days just pass quickly.  You wake up on a Monday (sometimes grudgingly), do your work or your errands… before you know it, it’s midweek already… and then it’s the weekend… and then you’re back to Monday. Unlike when we were young and the days seemed endless.  You stay in school for what feels like a very long time, but in reality, it’s just a school year.  Or remember those endless summer days and nights?  They just seemed, well, endless…

endless days

The last two weeks of December was a blur.  It was a series of Christmas parties, reunions, dinners and lunches.  It was mostly fun, somewhat tiring, and a whole lot fattening.  I think I gained about five pounds just these past couple of weeks.  THAT is definitely NOT the highlight of my year. 

I have to say, though, that I have honed my entertaining skills given the number of times I hosted a Christmas reunion/party at home this year.  Not bad for someone who used to be afraid of having guests at home.  Like I told a friend of mine, I was truly channeling Giada de Laurentiis these past two weeks!

sample of my feast

Right now I am preparing — yet again —  for another gathering… New Year’s countdown this time.  But before I turn on the domestic diva mode, let me recall the things that happened this year (2010) that pretty much stood out.

—  We moved to a new house end of 2009, and was fully settled by January.  Fully settled meaning most of the house is fully decorated.  However, we kept tweaking some parts — add tiles here, put a roof there, add glass and wood on the fence, etc… thus,  basically the relationship with the architect is long lasting.

— I became more hospitable, more welcoming… I learned how to warmly receive guests.  I used to be afraid of big parties at home.  I dreaded having to fix up afterwards.  For some reason, after we moved to the new house, my perspective changed.  I looked forward to having guests.  We have a group that meets at my home almost every other week.  I have thrown countless parties — and enjoyed every minute of organizing them.  One thing I learned, as I opened my house, I basically opened my heart to people, as well. 

— I started to write regularly again.  Thanks to this blog, I am able to do something that I am passionate about.  I may not be able to write as often as I want, but I do try.  And it’s the perfect outlet.  I love, blogging.

— A favorite writer of mine posted a comment on one of my blogs. Yey!  I almost died of shock, but yey! just the same. Did I say I love blogging?!

— I met new friends and got closer to old ones.  My baseball family is really like family.  I believe all those games helped strengthen the bond between us.  It is good to know that there are people who will look after my son when I’m not around… the same way that they can trust me with theirs when the need arises.  I am also thankful for the blog friends that I found this year.  Who would have thought?  I started blogging just with the goal of somehow being read by someone… I never expected I will form friendships along the way.  A big bonus… or better yet, a blessing. 

— We got a dog.  A yellow labrador. Now a big, yellow labrador. A big, yellow labrador that drags me around the garden whenever I am the one holding him.  I used to be afraid of dogs.  I didn’t like the noise, the smell and the thought that they might bite my legs.  But now I know what googly puppy look means.  My big labrador gives me that look and my heart just melts. I love this dog to bits!

— Sometime during the year I realized I was losing some jewelry.  The thing was, I couldn’t just accuse anyone.  Given the number of workers who went in and out of the house (because it has been a work in progress, like I said), I had no proof.  I was heartbroken.  For some time I didn’t know who to trust, how to trust… But then I guess the most important learning that I had given the incident was that after all that has happened, one’s relationships with people are still more important than any material thing.    And yes, I learned to be more careful (and responsible) with my things, too. During that really low point, I prayed for inner peace, more than anything. 

— I counted — and shared– my blessings.  I became more appreciative of what I have.  Appreciative and thankful.  And I learned how to share wholeheartedly… without expecting for anything in return.  I knew that when you bless someone, you will be blessed back.

count your blessings

Moving on… moving forward…

I am thankful for all the days I was blessed with this year, whether good or bad, exciting or boring… Am glad I was given those days.  I am thankful for friends, near or far… from baseball fields to malls, from Ohio to London to Sweden… You guys totally rock!!  I am so blessed, indeed.

And I am looking forward to another year of abundance. 

Happy New Year everyone!  See you next year… or tomorrow. 🙂

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photo credits: beach house and blessings — via weheartit.com;  Sumptuous feast — mine!!!

Judge and be judged

the imperfect storm

Mom: I am thinking of setting up a business for your brother and you.

Daughter:  What’s that got to do with me?

Mom: Because if you don’t help him out, I will really make you take up law. 

Daughter: (looking totally clueless) Huh?

Mom:  You should be a lawyer.  I want you to be a judge someday.  You will be happy if you are a judge.  You shouldn’t waste your intelligence… 

Daughter:  Who said I’m not happy?!  (Big sigh)

Sounds like a storm is brewing.

~*~

Initially, one would see nothing wrong with the above conversation. 

I suppose it is but normal for parents to tell their children what they want their children to become…  what path they suggest their children to take.  Out of love and concern for our kids, we parents, most often than not try to persuade them to choose a certain direction.  Of course our choices are based on our own personal experiences, as well.  We teach based on what we know.  We try to influence our children based on how we lived life and we think that what made us succeed will do the same for them.  We just want them to be successful and to be happy.

Nothing is wrong with offering suggestions.  Nothing is wrong with telling your child you dream of him or her to be this or that someday…

Not unless you are talking to a 35+ yr old. A mother of an 11yr old, with her own family unit– her own household– and a dog, to boot.    Someone who has been independent and has been taking care of her family, as well as other people’s family, for the past decade. 

You simply cannot tell that person, even if she were your own child, that you know what will make her happy. 

Because you don’t.   

~ * ~ 

I have mentioned several blogs back (see Highlight of My Day) about how I decided to veer away from the corporate life and chose to be a domestic goddess.  I believe I also mentioned that I came from a career-oriented family.  I knew that a lot of people didn’t understand why I made such choice. I knew a lot of them questioned why I chose being a full-time-rah-rah-mom over working for some company that would give me a nice title before my name.   

I didn’t mind, really.  I believed that having a peaceful family life, with a happy, loving — not to mention, very intelligent– child was more than enough to make me feel successful.  I derive my self-fulfillment from having the chance to make memories with my son.  I never really craved for any other title.  It’s not something that I miss having because I am happy where I am.  Like what I always say, to each his own.

But then hearing my mom telling me a few days ago that being a lawyer or a judge would make me “happy” really almost made me blow my top.  At that moment, the only thing I could think of was how little she thought of me… and how little she knew of me

It was pretty sad, really.  Sad not because what she said made me feel small about myself, but more because I don’t think she truly understands the happiness I get out of being a mother.  Obviously, she gets her sense of happiness elsewhere… while I derive joy from being with the people I love, doing things with and for them, sharing moments with them.

~ * ~

My mom has always been career-oriented. We never faulted her for that.  My siblings and I grew up under the care of a nanny who stayed with us until she was 85.  When our nanny passed away last year, my sister and I (being the two older ones) really felt like we lost a big part of us, as well.    My mom never understood why we cried so much.

Now in her 60’s, my mom is still happily working… proud to keep her title of being an attorney, and every other title possible, depending on her position.  Because of her present position, she got assigned in a faraway place, gets to come home only once or twice a month.  She is still happy, though.  She has reached the pinnacle of her career… 

Our weekends are spent with lunches, dinners or coffee dates with my dad, my sister and her family and my brother.  Without our mom, though, because she’s somewhere else.  We share moments here as a family, while she’s out there somewhere, socializing with the lawyers and judges like herself.  And oh yeah, she’s working, too.

She doesn’t realize that while she’s out there happily being a Somebody, I am back here taking care of her household.   I run their errands, manage their househelp, do their groceries.  My sister and I take turns staying with or inviting our dad over when he needs company.  When my brother went through some rough spot, I was there to give him whatever guidance or support he needed. 

So, maybe I don’t have a title other than “mom.”  I don’t introduce myself as Atty. So and so or Dr. Something something.  Not even Supermodel Someone.  I also see no reason to introduce myself as Writer Me when I meet with my son’s teachers or my other co-parents.  I simply see no point nor reason to.  But being ‘untitled’ doesn’t mean I am less busy, nor does it make my life less significant.

Maybe she is happy being what and where she is.  But that doesn’t mean that I am NOT happy being who or what I am.

~ * ~

What really brings you joy? Think about it.

SGM : We all have different sources of happiness.  I am happy with my family.  I am happy that I get to write.  I am happy with my life… Besides, i don’t want to be a judge. To me, it’s just a title.  

And that was how the storm ended. 

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photos via google images 

 

vanity cures

Likes | Tumblr

love love love

Because it’s Thursday…  

and it’s been a hectic week, what with final exams and all…

and we still have to review…

and as much as i would like to write something interesting, my mind just goes blank…

and I need something that will wake my sleeping senses up… something non-fattening, at least.

And so I thought of having a pedicure this morning.  Chose something red instead of the usual pretty pink ones that I often use.  Something different for a change. 

Momentary thrill.    Life’s little joys…

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  photo via weheartit.com

For the love of the game

 The GQ Eye: GQ

You wake up really early on weekends because you have to bring your son to a baseball game. Even when you’d rather stay home in bed, you trudge along even before the sun is up.  Sometimes you endure a long drive just to get to the venue of the game.

You stay under the sun for several hours.  Under the scorching heat.  Sometimes, no amount of sunblock can keep you from getting toasted.  You still go home feeling (and looking) like a roasted chestnut.  At times you get almost dehydrated — you can’t drink too much since you don’t know where the nearest bathroom is.  Most of the time, you have to cross the whole field to get to the nearest bathroom.  The nearest bathroom is just way too far.

You see different personalities on the field.  The ones to watch out for are on the bleachers.  From the field, you learn about team work, unity and courage.  From the bleachers, you learn about parent-bullies and know-it-alls.  You learn about friendship, too.

You go home tired and feeling drained out after the game.  Sometimes you feel like you were the one on the field playing, not just a mere spectator.  Sometimes you tell yourself you will decide to miss the next game — and the game after that. 

But you know in your heart of hearts that you will still go… that for sure you will be there in the next game, cheering your heart and lungs out.  So why do you still go?  After all the whining and complaining, what makes you go to a game again and again… and again?

Perhaps it’s because you know that your son loves baseball.  It’s because of that smile on his face whenever he is around with his teammates.  It’s because of the discipline that the sport is teaching your child.  It is because you don’t want to miss that hit… or that home run.  And you want to be there when he makes that winning catch… or winning run.

Maybe it’s also because of the new friends you have made while sitting on the bleachers… the parents you end up having weekend barbecues with.  Maybe it’s the friends that your child has gained, being part of a team.  The little boys you know your child will grow up with.

Despite the heat, rain, long drives and long hours, you know that you cannot stay away.  Mainly because you know that the game makes your child happy. 

And perhaps it’s because you wouldn’t want to miss a moment.  Whether it’s a moment of victory or defeat, joy or sorrow, excitement or boredom.  Whatever moment it is, you would want to share it with your child.  You would want to be there.

Or maybe, just maybe, you have grown to love the game, as well.

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photo via: weheartit.com