Crash and Burn

zzz zzz zzz...

Just several days ago I mentioned in my blog about my beloved desktop computer (see Notebook Idiot). 

It’s the one I am so used to… the one that I, most often than not, choose over my new Notebook.  Most of my blogs were created using that unit.  All the articles I have written in the past three years were typed and printed and emailed using the same.  I have spent countless hours in front of it writing an article, blogging, chatting with friends, doing Facebook, checking emails, banking online, SHOPPING online… uploading pictures, taking pictures of myself using the webcam… making reviewers for my son… and the list goes on (and on and on).

For quite some time now, we have noticed that said computer was painstakingly slow.  It took time to turn on, it took time to load a webpage, and sometimes in the middle of a chat message, it would just cease functioning.  Like a person holding his breath for several seconds, the cursor will just stay still –or at times, disappear – only to get revived even before my count reaches ten.

I have been meaning to erase all unnecessary and insignificant documents.  I have been meaning to make a back up file of my articles, my pictures… everything.  I have copied some, but there were others that I just couldn’t bear delete. 

I kept putting off cleaning the accounts, deleting old files, copying important documents and pictures.

And I guess you know what happens when you keep putting things off…


 7:30pm., Sunday evening 

SGM: (Asking for about the fifth time, trying not to sound too worried)  Are you sure you can save ALL my files?

Poor Computer Technician:  I will see what I can do ma’am.  But I am doing my best, don’t worry.

SGM:  Can I wait for it or should I just come back for it tomorrow?

PCT: (looks at the clock) Erm, it’s okay, we’re open until 10pm.

SGM: (In panic) You mean I have to wait until ten??!

I have been in this computer shop since 4:30 in the afternoon.  It took almost three hours before the technician was able to bring my computer back to life.  But reviving it was just the first step… he still had to find out if my files were still intact… or if they were still actually there. 

Three hours of pacing back and forth, just waiting for some update from the technician.  My throat was getting dry of thirst, my stomach was grumbling, part of me was wondering what stores at the mall were on sale and if I would have the chance to check them out.  Okay, so I ignored the last thought, there were more pressing matters that needed to be addressed.  I didn’t go to the mall to shop…

I went to have my poor, beloved pc repaired because it crashed without warning.  Without giving me the chance to ready myself, the computer just died.

computer god at work

And now I am doing my best to be friends with the technician because he’s the only one who can revive my unit.  He is the only one who can retrieve what I have lost (translation: ALL MY FILES).  In his hands lies the fate of my dear computer.

If he succeeds, I promise to give him a huge tip… and will probably include him in my Christmas list for this year.


The crash of my computer made me realize several things.

For one, we are creatures of habit.  Well, at least, I am.  I am so used to my daily routine of sitting in front of the desktop during weekdays that the mere thought of not having said computer on the table come Monday morning made me anxious somewhat.  This is normally how I feel when I run out of coffee… my hands begin to shake and my heart starts palpitating.  Withdrawal symptoms to the very core. 

The thing is, I have been lazy, too.  I know I should have diligently made a back up of my files… yet I didn’t.  I also know that I should have long erased the documents that I didn’t need… yet I didn’t.  And I should have made hard copies of the pictures that I have uploaded… obviously, I still haven’t.  Now the thought of losing all of them just makes me so sad… and angry at myself, too.

The Rise of the Machines

In this modern world, we rely too much on the mechanical, hi-tech things that we forget… we forget that things do break down.  Computers crash.  Those small chips found inside the computer can short circuit, overload, burn.  You can lose everything with just a blink of an eye. 

When you forget something that you’ve been keeping in the central processing unit of your brain, you feel sad and you do all your darnedest just to retrieve it. Sometimes, you succeed.   But when your computer crashes and loses all that you have saved in it, it doesn’t feel a thing.   You are still the one left feeling sorry and helpless and like a total idiot for putting too much trust on the mechanical.


9:30am, Monday

Text message from Computer Technician (turned God of the Computers): Good morning!  Your computer’s fixed, your files restored, I will just have to update your antivirus.  You may get your unit by lunchtime.

SGM’s thought balloon:  Sorry I cannot text back, I am too busy jumping for joy!!!

Okay, so what exactly did I learn from the experience…

Always have back upDon’t overloadPictures printed on paper are still way better than pictures saved on a disc. Listen to your gut when it says something wrong is going to happen if you don’t do things differently. Trust in the skill (or power) of the person who knows what he’s doing (translation: Don’t attempt to fix something if you have no idea how to).

And though painful, sometimes, you really just have to let go

But then again, sometimes, you get lucky. So be thankful… and learn your lesson.

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Photos via google image

*this entry was created using the new Notebook and uploaded using the newly revived desktop pc. How’s that for teamwork? 🙂

Mommy tantrums

Last night i found myself ranting about someone I don’t really know, but never really liked (that usually happens when past relationships get entangled with present ones).  I was going at it for a good ten minutes when my 11yr old overheard what I was saying and asked if that person I was saying mean things about did something bad to me personally before.  I said no, but her existence somehow has an effect on my life and the thought of her just irritates me.

To this, my son replied, “But mom, why can’t you be the bigger person?”

That basically shut me up. 

(mommy in tantrum mode)


It dawned on me that while I was whining and complaining like a spoiled brat,  my son was teaching me the mature thing to do.  Be the bigger person.  Pretty embarrassing, really.  At that moment, the roles were reversed.  I was the immature one.

We teach our children about fairness, about having good manners, about patience, understanding, about not being petty… all the good things, all the values that we would want them to imbibe.  But sometimes we forget that we do have to be role models.  We have to set an example… we cannot teach them one thing and act the opposite way.  We do have to be careful with our words and our actions specially around our kids because we don’t want to  be inconsistent.

Being the bigger person is not always easy.  There really are people who just rub you the wrong way that the mere mention of their names make you go ballistic.  Yet how can you expect your children to be non-violent, peace loving citizens, when they see you blowing your top just at the mere mention of one name?   

Self-restraint.  This is something we should all have. 

Yes, and next time I rant about some person I dislike, I’ll make sure that my son’s not within earshot.


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