Mr. Ken Doll

Ken needs a Supergoddess Barbie

Ken needs a Supergoddess Barbie

He was a male model… He did tv commercials, but he mostly did ramp.  He was goodlooking — in a boyish way.  He was tall, he had this really dazzling smile… and a really hot bod.  He was like a Ken doll.

He was a good friend of a boyfriend.  Boyfriend used to do some modelling as well, so naturally he hang out with fellow models.  That was how I met Mr. Ken doll.

When boyfriend left the country, I stayed in touch with some of his friends.   When boyfriend eventually became an ex, Mr. Ken doll expressed interest in dating me… but didn’t really know if it was the right thing to do since I was the girlfriend of a good friend.  It didn’t seem right.  It was like crossing a boundary.

We did go out several times.  We talked a lot.  We laughed.  We flirted.  We watched basketball games together.  We talked about our favorites — his was carrot cake, mine was coffee.  We had a good time.

I liked being seen with him because he was a Ken doll… and I felt like I was Barbie.  I was living very girl’s dream.  I was every girl’s source of envy.

Going out with Ken made me forget about the heartbreak caused by long-distance boyfriend.  I thought being with another goodlooking guy will fill the void left by an ex.  In a way, it did.  It did make me forget… but only for a short while.

Somehow the thrill of being with Ken was fleeting.

One night, I just suddenly realized that Ken and I didn’t have anything in common.  I tried to dig deep to feel something towards him… some love or deep affection… yet I didn’t find any.  There was fondness, yes, but that was just it.  Nothing more.

Perhaps the only connection we truly had was the memory of my ex-boyfriend… his ex-friend.

We parted ways amicably.  No tears, no drama.  I never wondered what “could have been” because I knew Ken and I weren’t meant to be.

What I learned from the whole Ken experience is this:  You really cannot force yourself to love — or even just like, LIKE — someone if your heart isn’t there.  You cannot force yourself to feel a certain way towards someone.  Or even if you do try, in your heart of hearts, you would know that you’re not fooling anybody else but yourself.

Kissing Ken may have been fun, but it didn’t make me his Barbie.  He didn’t turn out to be my Prince Charming, too.  Good thing we were both mature enough not to pretend we were something we weren’t.

Some things are really just not meant to be.

It’s Ken’s birthday today.  And his real name’s Ron.

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photo via google images

 

 

Dreaming of Rome

Love. Rome. Josh.

Love. Rome. Josh.

I had the chance to sit in front of the tv this morning — and actually watch a movie.   I ended up watching “When in Rome”  a movie that starred Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too old to watch chick flicks.  I mean being a mom, as well as being someone’s partner, somehow make me feel embarrassed to gush over fairy tale movies and Prince Charmings (…but come on, how can one NOT gush over Josh Duhamel?).  It just didn’t seem right.  It seemed pretty juvenile.

But there I was at nine o’clock in the morning watching a funny love story that made me wish that I can go to Rome anytime soon… and that all love stories are magical and stay magical… and that I can have a magical love story with Josh Duhamel. 

An hour and a half later, realization struck… I am not going to Rome anytime soon… love stories may start magical yet they don’t always stay that way… and bummer of all bummers, Josh already has Fergie.   My reality is simply just not as exciting.  No wonder I don’t like watching chick flicks!

I had to check myself before I got totally depressed about the whole thing.  This normally happens whenever I watch feel good movies… I end up not feeling good about where I am.

And then the wise and sensible ME took over.  Sure, I may not be going to Rome anytime soon… but that doesn’t mean I can’t go to Rome in this lifetime.  I have always wanted to see Italy… I wanted to see not just Rome, but Venice and Tuscany, as well.  I will include that trip in my bucket list.  No need to feel bad about something that I can do something about (even if it means having some major saving up to do to be able to go on that trip!)

Okay, so maybe not all love stories have fairy tale endings.  Maybe I have lost that magical feeling  somewhere between balancing checkbooks and washing the dishes.  Maybe the day to day, mundane activities have squeezed all the magic out of me.  Yet that doesn’t mean I cannot anymore be the sweet, loving person that I was  when I was much, much younger.  I may have gotten older,  but I’m not ancient… I still am capable of expressing my emotions.  Though at times I may seem to be functioning on auto-pilot, I can still easily snap out of it if I do want to.

The thing is, real life is NOT always magical.  We have to work for it if we want to sustain that magic.  And I truly believe that when you work for something, all the more you will not let that thing dissipate just like that.  You take more care of what you have invested time, effort and love in, than things — or people– you never shared anything of yourself with.

Fairy tale endings?  Well, as long as we are on this earth, we can direct our paths to that fairy tale ending that we all long for.  Hope springs eternal.

A few hours of movie watching do take us away from our realities, even for sometime.  It can be nice… can even give you a fresh perspective on things.  But at the end of the day, real life is still more interesting… more exciting…

Because in your reality, you are the lead… always.  And you can choose your happy ending… always.

PS… Okay, so maybe I won’t have a fairy tale ending or a magical anything with Josh Duhamel in this lifetime. But in the movie version of MY life, he will definitely play a part.   

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photo via google images, When in Rome (2010)