… but not quite

My bestfriend told me that the last line of my previous entry made her think (see previous entry Almost). 

Sometimes remembering the moments that brought us to where we are today gives us a certain sense of appreciation for the present.

This is for my friends and readers who would like to ponder on the same question.   

Do you have an ‘almost’ that stands out?

Pause… ponder… and  share.  

Tag me when you’re done thinking. 

almost where?

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PS… Special call out to the following:

  • Maura from 36×37
  • Sunshine from  Sunshine in London
  • Coffee Moments
  • Pajama Days
  • Ola from Life, love and everything else

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photo via google images

Highlight of My Day

Nothing beats an interesting afternoon chat

I met up for lunch with a couple of my mommy friends yesterday.  I have known these women for several years now.  Our sons’ ages range from ten to twelve, they go to the same school and they are in the same baseball team.  Another commonality that the three of us have is that we are all full-time moms.  Having no daily job or an office to go to, the highlight of most of our days is basically picking up our sons from school and bringing them to baseball practice.  That, and of course, occasional lunch or coffee dates with friends.

As we were having our dessert, I asked them this question: “Have you ever thought of doing something else, like pursuing a career or having your own business at this point in your lives?  Or…” and I paused to add some drama, “… are you content with this?” And I moved my hands about to point at our table, our dessert, our coffee… basically I was talking about what we were doing at the moment.  We were having lunch… with all the time in our hands.

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I came from a career oriented family.  My lawyer mom took pride in being a working mother.  She almost had a breakdown when she found out I decided to be a full-time mom.  She didn’t have to tell me, but I knew that she couldn’t understand why I chose to be a full-time mom over having a career… a position in an office somewhere… a title that goes before my name.  Double the breakdown when she learned that my lawyer sister decided to stop practicing law so she can have more time with her kids.  My sister set up her own business, so my mom forgave her somewhat, but she still couldn’t understand why my sister chose to give up her title of being an attorney. 

My mom believes that a person can be career oriented and still be a parent (though I don’t remember her spending much time with us when we were very young) .  She also believes that our relationship (mine and hers) is the same as my relationship with my son.  She thinks we are just as close.  She is either in a total state of denial… or is utterly clueless. 

As my sister often says, my mom seems to live in a totally different plane.

~ * ~

Years ago, when my son was still very young, I couldn’t quite get rid of the hang ups of being a non-working mom.  I guess it didn’t help that my sister gets to be introduced as “the lawyer” while I get the title, “the other daughter.”  There were times when I can’t help but ask myself if I needed a title too, in order to gain more respect.  Will the world respect me more if I have a title before my name?

I have long come to terms with myself on what would give me self-fulfilment and contentment.

~ * ~

Yesterday when I posed the question to my friends, one of them replied, “I am happy where I am.”  And then she added this, “Life is short.  Why should I concern myself about trying to find a job just to prove somethingI love that I get to spend time with my kids.  I love that we can do this.  Why should I add more stress when I can enjoy what I have?”  And she proceeded to tell us about the flights she just booked for her and her family for the upcoming school break.

I believed what she said made perfect sense. 

~ * ~

I don’t have anything against working mothers.  In fact, I admire the mothers who have their careers or their own business and still have time for their kids.  And I mean quality time. And there are working mothers who, given the chance, would rather stay home with the kids (or have leisure coffee dates with friends on a Monday).  I feel for them, too.

Different strokes for different folks.  But to me, more than anything, it’s about the time that you spend with your kids, whether you work or not.

~ * ~

a beautiful world

one Monday afternoon

It was my personal choice to be a full-time, hands on, supermom.  Not that I have to justify it, but I feel one can never have enough time with one’s kids.  I mean, they grow up so fast.  Surely you would want to be there to see them grow, and to experience life with them while they still want you around

When I picked up my son from school yesterday afternoon, I can’t help but smile as I listened to him talk about the highlight of his day.  Being there in the car with him, listening to his stories, enjoying a peaceful, stress free afternoon, I couldn’t help but realize that THAT moment was the highlight of MY day.  I couldn’t ask for more.

So despite the fact that I am seemingly untitled, I know I am happy where I am.

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photo via weheartit.com

For the love of the game

 The GQ Eye: GQ

You wake up really early on weekends because you have to bring your son to a baseball game. Even when you’d rather stay home in bed, you trudge along even before the sun is up.  Sometimes you endure a long drive just to get to the venue of the game.

You stay under the sun for several hours.  Under the scorching heat.  Sometimes, no amount of sunblock can keep you from getting toasted.  You still go home feeling (and looking) like a roasted chestnut.  At times you get almost dehydrated — you can’t drink too much since you don’t know where the nearest bathroom is.  Most of the time, you have to cross the whole field to get to the nearest bathroom.  The nearest bathroom is just way too far.

You see different personalities on the field.  The ones to watch out for are on the bleachers.  From the field, you learn about team work, unity and courage.  From the bleachers, you learn about parent-bullies and know-it-alls.  You learn about friendship, too.

You go home tired and feeling drained out after the game.  Sometimes you feel like you were the one on the field playing, not just a mere spectator.  Sometimes you tell yourself you will decide to miss the next game — and the game after that. 

But you know in your heart of hearts that you will still go… that for sure you will be there in the next game, cheering your heart and lungs out.  So why do you still go?  After all the whining and complaining, what makes you go to a game again and again… and again?

Perhaps it’s because you know that your son loves baseball.  It’s because of that smile on his face whenever he is around with his teammates.  It’s because of the discipline that the sport is teaching your child.  It is because you don’t want to miss that hit… or that home run.  And you want to be there when he makes that winning catch… or winning run.

Maybe it’s also because of the new friends you have made while sitting on the bleachers… the parents you end up having weekend barbecues with.  Maybe it’s the friends that your child has gained, being part of a team.  The little boys you know your child will grow up with.

Despite the heat, rain, long drives and long hours, you know that you cannot stay away.  Mainly because you know that the game makes your child happy. 

And perhaps it’s because you wouldn’t want to miss a moment.  Whether it’s a moment of victory or defeat, joy or sorrow, excitement or boredom.  Whatever moment it is, you would want to share it with your child.  You would want to be there.

Or maybe, just maybe, you have grown to love the game, as well.

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photo via: weheartit.com