I was fixing my files earlier when i came across a bunch of papers with doodles and sketches… and then I saw one of the first love notes that my boy gave me when he was still very little. My heart can’t help but skip a bit.
I can’t help but ask, where has time gone? It seems not too long ago when I was just teaching my son how to write and draw… I used to sing him all the nursery songs i knew and i used to recite the poems i wanted him to learn. Our nightly rituals included me reading him a book and the two of us singing songs before going to sleep. I used to hold his little hands a lot and he used to give me lots and lots of big hugs, shower my face with wet kisses. And he used to give me all these notes and doodles and sketches…
Now he’s eleven. Not a baby anymore, yet not exactly a teenager, too. He is at the stage where he asks for some space, yet still wants to see me watching over him from afar. Unlike the times when he would be proud to be seen with mommy, now hugging mommy in public is just so uncool. Sometimes he answers back like an adult and thinks he can get away with it… then comes back to ask for my help on something.
When i watch him as he sleeps at night, I can’t help but marvel at how he has grown, right in front of my eyes, without me really realizing it. To me he is still the baby that I carried and sang lullabies to. He is still the little boy who gave me cute little love notes… the same one who would extend his little hand so we can walk hand in hand whenever we are out.
Despite me being a full-time, hands on mom, i still don’t think that the time I spend with him is ever enough. I want to make the most of our moments together because I know that sooner or later, he will have his own life, and he won’t be needing much of me. At some point, I would really have to let go so he can live his life, grow as his own person.
Time flies so fast. Children grow up fast. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves just that. Our babies are not babies forever…though in our hearts they always will be. We have to make the most of the time we share together… the time when we can teach them, nurture them, and love them.
Lest we forget, the joy that our child brings to our lives simply can never be compared with anything else. The overwhelming love that tugs our hearts is indescribable. It’s priceless.
*** *** ***
photo credit: Picture perfect drawing of me from my Superson (from 5-6 years back)