It never used to bother me when people ask how old I am. My friends are mostly of the same age so we understand each other’s language, i dress appropriately that people won’t think i’m from another era (say ’60s or 70’s), nor would they think i’m trying hard to look young… and i am surrounded by young kids a lot of times that i feel young, too. Believe me, laughter begets laughter. Try surrounding yourself with grumpy old people and see how long your light spirits will last.
My age used to be just a number. It didn’t feel like such a big deal when i turned a quarter of a century. I still felt young and alive and had so much to look forward to. And then when i had my child, i was a happy young mom. I had friends who went on a hiatus when they turned thirty. They felt they were too old to stay single. I remember being a joyful thirty year old “young” mom.
But then lately, as i watch my son turn into a fine lad, warning bells seem to be ringing relentlessly inside my head. Okay, so maybe it’s more of a gong that i am hearing. That nagging sound that keeps reminding me that well, i am not so young, after all. And that unless i stick to my make up story that i had my son at a very young age (say 16), well people who ask my age are bound to know that I am not in my late twenties — nor am i just thirty (where my age stopped. but press release has always been 27). Of course I can always hope that they suck at math and can’t make mental computations.
So, does this age thing bother me now? Yes, it’s starting to. Getting old scares me. I don’t want to turn out old and wrinkly with gray hair. Worse, old AND grumpy. A hag in every sense of the word. I am afraid of getting old without knowing my purpose in life.
Can i do something about it? Maybe. I can accept the fact that everybody grows older everyday. It’s a sign of life, so I should be thankful. Perhaps embrace the idea that wisdom comes with age (… thus, i am wiser than well, my son and his friends). I am more experienced, more knowledgeable, and i should be proud of my personal successes, big or small.
And yes, if i wish to age with grace, daily use of moisturizer and body lotion will help, too. Have a strict beauty regimen. I can dye my hair brown (or even magenta) if i feel like it. Smiling helps a lot, too. So maybe i should always flash my mega watt smile at friends and strangers alike.
Age is not just a number when you really think about it. It signifies the years you have been blessed with this gift called life. Instead of being in denial, i guess I should be grateful i have reached this far… and look forward to having more.
Of course I can always say that my son is really JUST my younger brother… but who am I kidding??
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watch out for: Signs that I’m Getting Old (or I’m Not as Young as I Say I Am)